


Selenias Blooming In The Dark

by cinnamontoffee



Category: Tales of the Abyss
Genre: Autistic Character, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Flashbacks, Found Family, Gen, Luke and Asch mentions, Major Tales of the Abyss spoilers, Other, Therapy, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, autism headcanon, background pairings - Freeform, coping with loss, duke fabre isn't allowed here, for plot reasons duke fabre is here, nobody is happy, past Asch/Natalia - Freeform, the abyss cast finally gets therapy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-12
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:15:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 21,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25865767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cinnamontoffee/pseuds/cinnamontoffee
Summary: With Eldrant fallen, Asch dead and Luke disappearing into Lorelei, his friends (try to) move on with their lives. However, moving on is a lot harder for some than it is for others, and some cannot move on at all.
Relationships: Anise Tatlin & Florian, Guy Cecil & Jade Curtiss, Guy Cecil & Luke fon Fabre, Guy Cecil & Natalia Kimlasca-Lanvaldear, Tear Grants & Guy Cecil, Tear Grants & Jade Curtiss, Tear Grants & Luke fon Fabre, Tear Grants & Natalia Kimlasca-Lanvaldear
Comments: 5
Kudos: 10





	1. chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I had this idea for, about two years now? My issue was actually getting to it. There will be a number of references to the side material (namely the character novels, where translated summaries are on Taleslations, and Tales of Fandom volume 2). So I hope you enjoy this journey.

ND2018, Luna-Redecan 38.  
  
 _You have to come home. You have to! I will be waiting...always._  
  
 _I will. I promise... I'll come home._  
  
 _Luke...I love you._  
  
  
Luke's friends safely escaped the falling replica of Hod, and watched as Lorelei was released. Returning home was incredibly difficult, as they knew they had to live on without Luke.  
  
 _He promises to come back, he will keep his promise, I'm sure._  
  
The flight back to Baticul was bittersweet and silent, Noelle was too confused to ask about the journey and as to where Luke was, the body language of the companions said enough. Once back at the Kimlascan capital, the important figures of Auldrant awaited them. When questioned as to where Luke and Asch were, a slew of mixed reactions occurred. Natalia broke down in front of her father upon the mention of Asch's name, but her facial expression before tears flew was one that ingrained in the minds of those who witnessed. Anise sniffled and immediately hugged Florian, letting out the remainder of her emotions that were held in since Ion's death. Guy avoided eye contact as much as possible, hiding the hurt in his eyes that resulted from saying goodbye to his best friend. While Jade kept a calm, but melancholy composure, Tear produced a near emotionless expression. Nobody could have told she was depressed, or that she had been crying. She was as mysterious as when first encountered, and avoided most social interaction while at the capital.  
  
At Susanne and Natalia's requests, the remaining party spent the night at the manor before parting ways once more. The Kimlascan princess found it hard to fall asleep, seeing Asch's face almost every time she closed her eyes, and the odd times Luke's, remembering what she lost earlier that day. Anise slept soundly in the shared guest room with Natalia and Tear, but could have been heard muttering Luke and Ion's names at times, along with 'please come back' and a few sniffles. Tear couldn't bring herself to sleep, as much as she cuddled the sleeping cheagle in her arms. She looked out the window, towards the star scattered sky, hoping to feel something before she attempted to drift off. Her thoughts consumed with the loss of her loved ones throughout the year, and eventually having to return to Yulia City kept her up as outdoors began to brighten with the sun beginning to rise. _Oh Yulia help her, she does not want to go back home, a home where she was not welcome._  
  
Morning had arrived and Tear hadn't slept at any point of the night. Once light invaded the guest room, she stealthily placed Mieu's sleeping body on top of Natalia, then quietly exited. Surprisingly, there were still guards on duty at this early hour, the Oracle Knights would have been at the least sleeping by now, even if just lightly. She wandered aimlessly along the manor's corridors and into the main room, still lost in earlier thoughts. Tear immediately snapped back into reality when she walked into a large figure that she hadn't registered before continuing her stroll.  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry, Your Grace, I didn't see you in front of me." the melodist recoiled immediately, fixing her posture as she spoke.  
  
Silence.  
  
 _"Not like I expected an answer anyway."_ She mumbled under her breath. After a few moments, Tear turned around to make her way back to the guest room in an attempt to avoid any further contact with the duke.  
  
"Young lady, do you ever think about the cause as to why my son is no longer with us," She stopped in her tracks, in sudden silence at his words, "answer me."  
  
"...No." she lied.  
  
"I wouldn't expect one related to Van to answer the truth." Tear remained silent at the mention of her brother. _He's going there, isn't he._ "Luke would have been eighteen in the next month, two more years until he came of age and married Princess Natalia, as written in the Score. But as you already know, that cannot happen."  
  
"...the Luke who would have married Natalia is dead. The Luke who spent the last seven years with you has released Lorelei. He will be back, some day, but to live his life, a life of his own free will." the melodist retorted meekly, ready for the older man to begin firing accusations at her.  
  
"If it were not for you invading the manor and kidnapping Luke, we would have been on track with the Score, and he would be here right now."  
  
"If it were not for me, more innocent lives would have been lost, eventually all of us as well, and Van would have had Luke dead in Akzeriuth's destruction!" Tear angrily snapped back, unable to control her rage, "and Luke would not have had his eyes opened to the outside world, he would have stayed confined here with an absolutely horrible attitude and what could possibly be the source of it!"  
  
"At least he would have been fulfilling the life that the Score had planned for him, which meant not mingling with the people he calls 'friends', especially you."  
  
Tear had nothing to snap back at Luke's father. She had been emotionally damaged so much during the journey, that the wounds were finally opening up, leaving her unable to say even a syllable to defend herself. She walked out of the room and made her way back to the guest room, trying hard to not begin to cry. _"I know the man hates me, but why am I only now close to tears from it?!"_ She had begun to swiftly and quietly pack her belongings and prepare to return to Yulia City, all while Anise, Natalia and Mieu slept. _"If I stay any longer, I'll make myself look like a fool, I need to leave."_  
  
Natalia had awoken to Anise shaking her urgently, with concern in her voice, flapping around a piece of paper in her left hand. The princess arose once the puppeteer left to round up Guy and Jade, she stared blankly at the wall before getting up to tidy herself. Her mind remained on Asch, all she thought of was him. When she least expected it, Natalia would see his face, and fight the urge to cry. _"I'm surprised I didn't have a nightmare of him last night.."_ she thought to herself, _"I truly hope that counts as me moving on.."_ She stroked Mieu's fur enough to wake him up, the tiny cheagle yawned and seemed rather confused to not be in Tear's arms like he had been before sleeping.  
  
It hadn't been long until Natalia and Mieu met their friends in the drawing room, except, one was missing.  
  
"Where's Tear? Wouldn't she still be in the manor?" the princess pulled a chair next to Anise before seating herself, clearly puzzled at their friend's absence.  
  
"That's what this note is about, read it." Guy grabbed the paper scrap that Anise had possessed earlier, and passed it to her.  
  
 _'To my friends- if you're reading this note, I've asked Noelle to take me and grandfather back to Yulia City this morning, I've most likely returned already by the time you are reading this. I apologize for worrying anybody, I'm not in a good headspace at the moment and if I stayed, I doubt it would have ended well. Please send Lady Susanne my gratitude._  
 _\- Tear.'_  
  
"...this isn't like her at all. I doubt this has anything to do with Luke leaving." Natalia's eyebrows furrowed with concern, Anise sharing her expression.  
  
"Are you sure about that? I heard some shouting this morning, and I heard Tear's voice amongst it all." Jade gave his signature snark-filled smile, obviously annoying the princess.  
  
"How could you even smile at a time like this?! We just lost Asch and Luke, and Tear left so silently! Aren't you even the least bit worried?!" Natalia snapped at the necromancer.  
  
"Oh, I am quite worried about Tear, and I am sad that Luke and Asch are gone, but moping and panicking will not do anything," the colonel calmly replied as he fixed his glasses, "we can only focus on Tear at this point, and we know that she knows how to be careful, and she went back to Yulia City, we can always visit her if needed."  
  
"I guess you're right..." Anise mumbled.  
  
"Guy, you haven't said anything all morning, what's wrong?" Mieu chirped, tilting his head. Guy had remained silent the entire time, suppressing his anger and keeping calm. _"I'm sure Duke Fabre has something to do with this, he hates Tear."_ he thought to himself, lightly tapping his foot in order to regulate his temper.  
  
"Sorry about that, let's give her some space, shall we? I think we all know what she's going through at the moment." the swordsman forced a smile onto his face, a weak attempt at easing his friends' worries.  
  
"I agree, but it's still unsettling that she would leave so suddenly, and without even any notice.." Natalia frowned, secretly wishing her friend remained so that she would be in the company of someone also grieving the loss of the one they love.  
  
ND2018, Luna-Redecan 52.  
  
Tear still was not used to the sun shining into her room in the morning in the comfort of her own bed. She recoiled, instinctively pulling the duvet over her entire body. It had been two weeks since she left Baticul on such short notice, since she last saw her friends, and the last time she set foot outside of Yulia City. The soldier had begun work in helping her grandfather around the city, but could have only done so much before either losing interest or losing the energy to do so.  
  
The door knocked gently, as Teodoro called out for his adoptive granddaughter before opening and letting himself in. Tear tried to stay still under the covers, but managed to fidget enough to be noticed.  
"Good morning, Tear, are you ready for another day?" the older man patted her back through her blanket before she shifted.  
  
"Yes, sure, ready." she replied halfheartedly, shifting onto her stomach and covering herself further.  
  
"Tear, are you sure that you're fine?" Teodoro frowned.  
  
"Yes, grandfather, I am fine." Tear hissed, muffled by her pillow underneath her face. Her attitude upset him even further, to the point of pulling off her duvet and exposing her and causing her to turn over and sit up.  
  
"You say you're fine, yet you either barely sleep or sleep longer than usual, and you don't eat much anymore, either!" the mayor scolded her, his granddaughter looking away from him as she endured the conversation that was waiting to happen, "your eyes look sunken in, I can see some salt on your cheeks and you have lost- Tear would you please look at me when I'm speaking to you."  
  
"I'm sorry." was all she was able to weakly manage out, keeping her emotionless face from a fortnight ago. Tear tucked her legs into her body before burying her head into them. Teodoro sighed, and knew to change conversation topics.  
  
"So, are you excited for your sixteenth birthday next week?" he attempted at a question.  
  
"What do I have to be excited about..?"  
  
"Sixteen is a very important age in a female's life, I figured you'd want to go all out, you only have one sixteenth birthday, after all."  
  
 _"If sixteen was so important, I should be able to spend it with the ones I love the most, but alas."_ Tear raised her head and stared at her grandfather very sleepily before looking outside the window. "Yeah, sure, I'll think of something, somehow, whenever, I guess."  
  
"When was the last time you spoke or saw Guy and the others?" Teodoro continued, closing in to give his granddaughter a hug before she swiftly blocked him, resulting in a frown on both parties, "And when was the last time you went to Daath?"  
  
"Two weeks ago, but they're all busy with moving on, meanwhile I barely have anything in life to move on to or with."  
  
"I know you were considering leaving the Oracle Knights in ND2019, but it's an open door for you, maybe you aren't seeing it as working with Van and that's why you want to leave."  
  
 _"Great, this conversation again, pushing me to continue what I now dislike."_ Tear growled silently before continuing, "no, I don't want to be there anymore, there is nothing else there for me, I don't see a point in staying."  
  
"Are you sure? It's currently being reformed, plus Anise and Florian are there, so it isn't like you're alone."  
  
"I can see them whenever, I only joined to get closer to Van, and now that he's gone, what point is there in staying?" Tear groaned, finally fixing throwing her legs over the bed, "now is it possible that I can have some time alone so that I can prepare myself?" Teodoro's frown lingered, eventually agreeing and leaving her room. She sighed in relief before quickly turning, and retrieving the rappig plush that had been hidden under her body while laying and squeezed it tightly. Tear looked to her bedside table, gazing at the photograph of her, aged six, and Van, aged seventeen, before picking up the frame and bringing it closer. It had been collecting a second layer of dust since she was last at home, after the initial battle at the Absorption Gate months prior. Her eyes focused on the seemingly happy little girl holding a cheagle plush in the picture. _"Was my smile genuine back then? Little me looked pretty happy for someone who wasn't much accepted at home..."_ she thought to herself, "I wonder if at that age, I realized that I'd eventually lose almost every person I held dear to me, including my only remaining blood relative." Realizing that her emotions were starting to show, Tear returned the frame, and stroked her rappig's soft fabric to comfort herself. _"Come on Tear, you're stronger than that, you shouldn't be crying over any of that, it won't do anything.."_


	2. chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natalia pushes away her grief, and Tear turns sixteen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry this took so long to come. I had planned this for August 21st, but that week I had a serious mental break and was nearly unable to do a thing. Anyway, if you can find the reference, good job!

"Auntie, are you in there?" Natalia knocked on her aunt's bedroom door, tapping her foot as she waited for a response.

"It's open!!" Mieu squeaked loudly while he sat on Susanne's lap, the lady stroking him. The princess entered, with basket that expelled warmth and a sweet aroma over her arm. She placed it on the nearby nightstand before joining her aunt seated on her bed.

"My, Natalia did you make these?"

"I _wish_ , but they would have smelt like the fireplace," she playfully frowned, "but no, a servant's child brought these for me, his granny made them for him to share so he gave some to me, and I thought I could at least share with you."

"..what kind of cookies are they?"

"Snickerdoodles, of course, and they're in animal shapes too." 

"Perfect," Susanne's eyes brightened, ecstatic about the sweets gifted to her, "at least your uncle isn't here, so more for us!" Natalia laughed at the remark as she handed a dog shaped cookie to her aunt.

"I almost forgot! Mieu, I was able to get you an apple from the kitchen earlier, so you wouldn't feel left out." The princess delved into the basket once more, pulling out a shiny red apple and handed it to the blue cheagle, who chirped and thanked her before indulging himself.  
Moments passed as the two woman shared sweets and Mieu ate his apple, before Susanne finally spoke up.

"So, how have you been since returning home? I know you've been busy helping your father secure a safe place for the remaining replicas, but I've barely gotten to talk to you since, you know," she asked.

"I've been...okay. I have been getting better, trying to move on," Natalia sighed before realizing the atmosphere she just gave off, "I, uh, well, Noelle is coming to take Mieu and I with the others to Yulia City in three days for Tear's birthday as a surprise, Father is giving me the time off to do so." She looked away, her heart pounding slightly as it had been the first time she would be seeing her friends since the day after Eldrant's fall, anxious yet excited to see them once more.

"Oh, her birthday is soon? Please give her greetings from me when you go, I'm sure she would really appreciate the surprise after all she has gone through."

The room filled with silence (with the exception of Mieu and his apple) before Susanne spoke again. "So, how have you been since, you know, Asch--"

"I've been fine," Natalia bluntly replied, sounding almost annoyed by the question, "I'm coping fine with everything, thank you."

_"I don't want to hear or think about him. It's been a blissful two weeks without thinking of him, I just want to move on, auntie."_

"Well, you know that I'm always here for you, right? I'm still sad too, we can support each other."

"Auntie, I'm okay, I'm getting along fine without him, I've been okay, but I think I need to go now." The princess quickly stood and rushed out of her aunt's bedroom, leaving a speechless Susanne and confused Mieu, running all the way back into the castle, and into her bedroom. She flung herself onto her bed, trying her best not to cry, but creating a headache as a result. _"Natalia, you're over it. You are over losing him. He's gone, you have to live on for him"_ she berated herself mentally as she began to squeeze and knead her pillow. _"Just think about Tear's birthday, just think about seeing your friends for once."_ Her head began to throb from relieving her emotions, and became too light headed to stay awake. Heavy eyelids began to force closure while she forced herself to think of her friends, drifting off in the evening's warmth.

-

Three days passed since Natalia stressed herself to sleep, and she refused to bring up the incident to anybody, especially her father and aunt. _"It's nothing to worry about."_ the princess would reply hastily when asked. On the morning of a very special day, she and Mieu were about to leave to meet Noelle and the others at Baticul's port. Jade greeted the two outside of the castle, shook the princess' hand and the three took the lift down to the lower quarters. They met Guy, as promised, waiting in town at a festive-looking shop. He noticed that Natalia seemed to be on edge, as if something had happened recently and eating away at her, but he knew better than to bring it to light, the former noble predicted that it was most likely about Asch. The three walked to the port, where Anise waited outside the Albiore for their remaining friends.

After what felt to be an hour of travel, the group, with Teodoro's permission, entered the home and discreetly shuffled to the kitchen, where Anise revealed a white frosted cake adorned with rainbow sprinkles and 'Happy Birthday Tear!!' written in thin icing. Guy pulled out one multi-coloured candle and inserted it into the I's dot, while Anise began to blow some balloons. Natalia and Jade returned to the living room, and set two small wrapped gifts on the couch. Jade brought out a card, the inside signed with the names of acquaintances that were absent, and began to sign his name. Distracted, Natalia walked towards the shelf holding multiple picture frames and attempted to make out the people in the picture, totally oblivious to the sound of Guy and Anise re-entering the living room. She picked out a particular image of a woman, elegantly dressed and standing alone. Intrigued as to what fascinated her, Guy approached while keeping his distance.

"Isn't it a bit rude to go through someone's belongings in their house?" he playfully teased the princess.

"Yes, I know, but I got distracted, and these picture frames looked so pretty that I couldn't resist," Natalia confessed, "I have no clue who this woman here is, though. She's beautiful and has a pendant that looks similar to Tear's." She handed the frame to her friend, allowing him to analyze.

"Hey, this is Auntie Myria, haven't seen her since before my fifth birthday," the swordsman reminisced happily, "she was like a second mother to me and Mary, her songs would always put me at ease during those nights where thunderstorms kept me up. I'm surprised she survived the fall of Hod."

"Wait, who's Myria and how did she survive Hod?" Anise perked up after the mention of the fallen Malkuthian nation.

"Myria was Van and Tear's mother, Tear is a near splitting image of her," Guy answered, his smile slowly fading away, "Van must have sung Yulia's hymns to protect them, that's the only method I can think of. Never knew she was pregnant at the time.."

"So you mean, Tear wasn't born when Hod fell? I thought you would have known her!" Natalia stared in disbelief.

"Nope, she wasn't even born yet, nor did we actually know about her existence. Around the time Hod fell, Auntie Myria was most likely newly pregnant with her. Remember the times Van came in the manor? He never even mentioned he had a sister." Jade finally entered the group's conversation, observing the photos until he found one that stood out, an image of serious looking but smiling teen aged boy, with a teary-eyed little girl in his arms.

"Guy, this is Van in this photo, correct?" The swordmaster peered over the necromancer's shoulder to view the image in question.

"Yep, definitely Van. That must be a tiny Tear in his arms there," Guy chuckled before observing closer, "though, why does she look so sad there? Van's looking serious but at least he's smiling, Tear just looks ready to cry."

"Mieu! Hate to break it up, but I can hear Tear getting ready to come down!" Mieu came rushing downstairs and chirped in a hushed but audible tone, prompting the group to settle down and put on the small party hats Guy bought in Baticul.

A door opened upstairs and soft yet slow steps became louder and closer. Tear, with eyes glued to the stairs, ran her hand down the railings as she walked downstairs, once again lost in her thoughts. She hadn't paid attention to any sounds of rustling coming from the living room, not even suspecting if anybody may have been in the house. Once the melodist arrived at the foot of the staircase and finally looking up, she was stunned to see all of her friends wearing party hats and cheered in unison, "Happy Birthday Tear!!"

"Wait, w-what are you all doing here, a-aren't you supposed to be busy?" Tear stuttered.

"What, can't we surprise you for your birthday? Sixteen is special!" Natalia cheered, approaching her friend and pulling her into a hug.

_"Sixteen is special, sure, then why don't I feel special."_ Tear became even more anxious once Anise leapt onto her in an embrace, nearly toppling the young woman over.

"Who let you-"

"Your grandfather did, he was at the mayor's office when we saw him, he couldn't make the celebration sadly." Mieu squeaked as Anise clung onto Tear like a parent and child sloth.

_"Of course he wouldn't celebrate with me."_ Tear mentally slapped herself for thinking that her adoptive grandfather of all people would spend time with her. "But, I thought you were-"

"Working to aid in fixing the damage, find a place for the replicas AND continue to lead a life without the Score, all while trying to live on?" Guy cut her off with a broad grin, "yes we are. But can't we surprise a friend on her special day?" Anise and Natalia stared at the swordsman as if expecting him to join in hugging a not-so-visibly distressed Tear, but sighed once he failed to approach.

"Florian got sick two days ago, so he couldn't make it," the puppeteer's mood dampened as she passed on news, "poor thing was crying when he realized he couldn't come, but he's sent birthday greetings."

"Auntie, Father and Cecille sent birthday greetings as well. Noelle and Ginji as well, they're still busy aiding in Sheridan's recovery."

"His Majesty Emperor Peony also sent birthday greetings, he said he'd share treats with the rappigs in your honour, you're free to visit them whenever you want, you know." Guy waved, still keeping his distance from the women in the room.

"Nephry also told me to tell you she said happy birthday, she just had a child and was unable to make it." Jade said as solemnly as ever. 

"Wait, Colonel, you're an uncle now?" Tear wriggled out of her friends' embrace, struggling to find the words to continue questioning further.

"Ah, yes I am. The first time I held my nephew, I looked at him in the eye and he immediately began to cry with his very strong pair of lungs.", the necromancer wore his sinister but gleeful smile, terrifying his friends.

"Only you would make a baby cry by looking them in the eye." Guy chuckled, secretly worrying about a child related to Jade of all people.

"At least he himself isn't the parent." Natalia added after a loud sigh.

"Anyway, Tear, would you like to open your presents?" Anise smiled and tugged Tear's arm enthusiastically, joined by Guy's encouragement, "come on, we're sure you'll love them!"

"Wait, you got me presents-" the melodist was cut off as she was led to the sofa holding the two gifts by her friends. Jade placed the first present, a small box wrapped in red polka-dot paper, onto her lap, signed with 'from Anise, Florian and Jade.' Tear carefully unwrapped the gift and opened the box, to find a green encyclopedia about flowers.

"I figured with your garden, you might have liked plants, and Florian picked out the book, he's sure you'll love it." Anise spoke up once the present was unveiled and gave a nervous smile.

"Oh, uh.." Tear trailed off, "thank you so much, I always wanted to discover new plants." She forced a weak but thankful smile.

_"Are you really sure about that, Tear? You sounded like you wanted something else."_

Natalia placed the second gift, a green striped box that read 'from Guy, Natalia, Mieu and Noelle,' into Tear's lap, grinning as she encouraged her friend to open it. After undoing wrapping paper and opening the box inside, Tear lifted a blue plush dragon-whale-like creature. Her eyes dazzled as if it were love at first sight. Her friends all smiled as they watched her hug and squeeze her newest plush, caressing its multicoloured faux fur.

"Do you like it?! Do you like it?!" Mieu perched on his friend's shoulder and bounced with excitement.

"I guess you love it then." Guy chuckled.

"I read this story about a group of misfits saving the world from a global threat," Natalia began, "one of those misfits had a dragon friend, who looked more like a whale, and he was her best friend, and I thought he was so cute that we just had to get a plush for you. And I'm glad we did!" Tear snapped out of cuddling with the stuffed dragon, and blushed immensely once she realized what she had done, using the discarded wrapping paper to cover her crimson face as her friends laughed.

"Hey, no need to hide that you love stuffed animals, I see you eyeing Tokunaga all the time." Anise snickered as she waved her fontech doll in front of her friend. A muffled and dragged out 'stop' was heard from the melodist hiding behind gift paper.

"Hey, nothing wrong about stuffies, my sister still had a stuffed cheagle when she was in her teen years," Guy attempted to reassure her as she pressed the paper harder against her face, "no need to be embarrassed, just thought you'd love the little guy."

"Ah, don't think we don't know about your stuffed rappig," Jade teased, "what was its name?-" 

"STOP." Tear shouted into the gift paper, loud enough for her friends to hear. She shook bodily as she struggled to compose herself, and the silence around her did not help either. Finally, she removed the paper from her face, keeping her eyes focused on her stuffed dragon, too embarrassed to look at anybody else. "I'm sorry for yelling, thank you Guy, Natalia and Mieu for the plush, I love him, he's adorable."

"All of us owe you an apology, and I'm saying sorry for everyone here, we should have knocked it off." Anise added remorsefully, "anyway, Guy and I made a cake for you and we're really excited to know if you'd like it!" Tear forced a smile and allowed the puppeteer and swordsman to lead her into the kitchen, Natalia and Jade following.

-

"Hey Tear, can we talk? We can go to your garden, if you'd like." Guy approached his friend once the surprise party had ended and her guests were about to leave. Jade had left earlier to visit Teodoro's office, while Natalia, Anise and Mieu had already begun to walk to the port. She nodded, still holding her newest plush in hand. Once the pair had arrived, the swordsman sighed, unsure where to begin speaking.

"So, how have you been?" he began.

"I've...been okay? How else should I be?" Tear replied, bouncing her leg anxiously as her eyes remained glued to the selenias.

"I'm asking because it's been a while since we saw you, and you acted out of character after Eldrant, and even today too. Is everything really okay?" The melodist fidgeted, unable to find the words to respond. She finally looked up to him, and smiled before averting eye contact once more.

"You don't normally react like that, or smile like that, and you usually look at people when you're speaking. Are you SURE you're alright?" Guy's tone became more serious, startling his friend. He stretched his arm to place his hand onto her shoulder, but she near instinctively stepped away.

"I'm fine, Guy, there's nothing for you to worry about, promise."

"How have you been coping after Eldrant? You lost a lot that day, and I've been worried." The sudden question froze Tear in place, at that moment her core felt warm and nauseating. She found it hard to breathe, but manage to keep her emotional wall erected tall.

_"You aren't okay, he's on to you."_ she berated herself. "I'm doing okay, one day at a time, I've been getting better." She squeezed the plush dragon harder as to regulate her emotions.

_"Liar. You miss Van and Legretta. You're upset that your grandfather didn't celebrate your birthday. You're still grieving over Luke leaving."_

Guy raised an eyebrow as he witnessed the way Tear shook as she embraced the stuffed creature, different to earlier, but instead she actually seemed like she wanted to break. He knew she would continue to push him away if he pressed further, he knew she did not want to admit that she was not okay. He knew that she had an image to display for everybody else, as a soldier.  
"Well, if that's the case, then I should tell you that we're visiting Lady Susanne for Luke and Asch's birthdays. They would have been eighteen soon, and I think we should go cheer her up. Plus, I think she would be happy to see you again." He smiled, while her position remained the same, eyes still focused on the selenias, "of course, that means seeing, you know who, but don't worry, Natalia and I will be there for you, nothing he says can rock you, right?"

_"Yes, they can. And they did. Aren't you forgetting what happened two weeks ago?"_ Tear groaned softly, digging her heel into the dirt, "thank you, I'll try to be there when the time comes."

"Are you SURE that you're okay?" Guy asked one more time, slightly surprised when Tear's fidget looked visibly agitated.

"I said, I'm fine."

"Alright then, I'll see you in two weeks. Take care of yourself." The two waved to each other as Guy allowed himself out of the garden and house. Once she felt that she was truly alone, Tear took a seat in the small field of selenias and picked one. She subconsciously twirled the loose flower between her fingers, losing her train of thought as she stared up at the sky. She never got to admire her garden at sunset, let alone at night, the sky had always been a poisonous purple with constant lightning back in the Qliphoth. The selenias looked much more beautiful now in the natural light, but the melodist could not bring herself to enjoy them as much as she should, something felt missing in her. For the first time in almost a year, she felt...empty. She had no ambition, no goal, nowhere to go, no place in the world. The constant reminder of losing the people that she loved, her friends being away, and her own adoptive grandfather not being there for her special day that he hyped up so much ate at her. Tear was finally able to let her anger, sadness and pain loose. One could not see her like this, it was unbecoming of a soldier.


	3. chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natalia dreams of a certain memory and is affected by it, and Guy and Tear visit Tataroo Valley for the first time since Eldrant's fall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! This chapter took a little longer than I wanted it to be (and as you can tell I uploaded another fic before chapter 3.) This is also my very first time ever writing Aschtalia, believe it or not. Writing LukeTear comes so naturally for me when writing Abyss content, so it was a minor struggle on my part, but I like how it came out. I might actually aim for the once a month updates that have (unintentionally) been happening because that way I don't try to annihilate myself for having difficulties in forming simple words. Anyway, hope you enjoy it!

Ingobert sat in his daughter's dark room in the wee hours of the morning, on her bed as she slept. He had heard weird speech coming from her, her voice even breaking as she continued to speak in her sleep. Finally, her calling Asch's name in her sleep was his breaking point, prompting him to burst in and attempt to awaken his daughter.

Natalia gasped loudly as she sat up, heart racing and forehead moist. Her hands shook as she gained sense of her surroundings, and was able to make out her father next to her. _He was there, it was him, I saw Asch in my dreams._

"I heard you talking in your sleep and got concerned, is everything okay?"

"...I'm okay, I just have not been sleeping well lately, but I'll be fine, thank you, Father." Natalia took a deep breath to calm herself before dismissing her father with a weak smile. Knowing better than to fight her on how she feels, the king left, and the princess went back to sleep.

~

_"I knew you'd be here, not unlike you to find yourself looking at the sunset."_

_Where was she? Why can she hear Asch's voice already in the dream? Why is he even here?_

_"I'm just nervous about the final fight tomorrow morning, aren't you anxious?" The princess heard her voice as she watched her dream self stand with Asch on Chesedonia's pier from a month earlier._

_"Yeah, maybe a little, but I can't let them get the best of me." The redhead sighed and crossed his arms._

_"You should fly off with us in the morning..."_

_"No. I work solo. I cannot go with you."_

_"But why? What if this is the last time we ever see each other? What if something happens and we can't get to one another? What if we fail..." Natalia's voice began to break as tears welled within her eyes, Asch looked away and stayed quiet, hiding the pain he felt hearing those words._

_"We will make it through, we are going to meet again, we're gonna stay safe, we're all strong." The former god general pulled her into a comforting hug, "remember our promise? I promised to keep it, and I will keep it to the very end. And the very end means we survive Eldrant."_

_"Asch..."_

_"We will be fine, I will be fine. We'll kick Van's ass and have a peaceful Kimlasca to make sure that the citizens live a bountiful life." Natalia smiled and laughed. She broke out of his embrace, took the redhead's hands into her own and held them tight._

_"You know, I never thought we would be able to get this close again, now look at us. We're sneaking in meetings together. Sounds like out of a novel." The princess chuckled. How could Asch forget those novels she loved to read? Her interest in reading had gotten so intense that she began teen aged novels at a young age, and would vent about frustrations of each character to him, and he would listen despite not knowing what she spoke of._

_"Hey, Natalia? When this is all over, do you think we can, maybe go on an outing? Just us two?"_

_"You mean, a date?"_

_"..."_

_"I'd love to, it would be an honour to go on a date with you."_

_"...thank you." The two stood silently next to each other, turned away to admire the setting sun in the horizon. The next day would be the final battle, and the entire of Auldrant depended on the two and their (or really, Natalia's) companions. The next day will be triumphant, and the start of a future without the Score, a future one can dictate on their own, with everyone having the right to live as they want._

_"Well, I'll see you tomorrow, hopefully, to take down Van." Natalia began to make her way back to the inn before Asch took hold of her right arm, with a strong but comforting grip._

_"Wait, Natalia, there's one more thing."_

_"Huh, what is-" The princess was cut short as lips connected with hers. Despite being stunned, she returned Asch's sudden kiss. The two separated to breathe, lips giving off a warm, tingling sensation that neither minded._

_"I... wanted to do that, f-for good luck." Asch's cheeks were slightly lighter than his hair, flustered before regaining confidence once he saw her smile._

_"Thank you, I hope the good luck does come true, I enjoyed it." The two laughed nervously before parting ways for the night, and the princess swore she saw the redhead with a genuine smile on his face._

Natalia jerked into a sitting position, gasping before realizing that her entire face was damp. She covered her face with her hands as she sobbed after the memory of her first kiss. "That kiss for good luck never worked, I lost Asch, I lost the one that I loved, and my last memory with him was a kiss." The princess got out of bed, walked into the bathroom, and washed her face. After drying herself, she looked at her reflection, a crimson faced, puffy eyed, salty cheeked young woman who had been sobbing over her first love, who she had lost, then found, then ultimately lost once more, now permanently, for far too long. "Asch...why did you have to die?! Why did you kiss me then go and die?! You should be alive with us, and Luke too. Why did you two leave me?!"

~

Guy arrived with Tear the next morning, the two seemed very quiet when entering the castle, and maintained silence when greeted by the visibly tired princess. Though dressed appropriately for the day, the dark circles under Natalia's puffy eyes were mostly covered by makeup, something she did not put on unless there were a formal occasion, but still seemed physically exhausted. The three then gathered in the castle's sitting room, Tear and Guy seating themselves and eyes wandering around as Natalia requested to ready herself once more. The princess rushed to her bedroom, struggling to keep her composure. The memory of her first kiss replayed in her mind repeatedly, and every replay opened the wound even further, and if her friends noticed that she was in distress, they would question her, and quite frankly, she was rather embarrassed about her grief.  
 _"If Asch, and Luke, were here with us, this would not be a problem."_ Once ready, she returned to her two friends, and led them to her aunt's manor.

-

"Who is it?" Susanne called out on the other side of her bedroom door.

"It's me, aunty, I have Guy and Tear with me too." Natalia called out. After a few moments, the lady of the house exited the room and greeted her guests, giving her niece a hug before pausing for permission to hug Tear and Guy, to which the two refused.

"How have you two been lately?"

"I've been fine, Emperor Peony gave me a few days off for the holidays, and it just so happened that Luke and Asch's birthdays fell within the period." The swordsman smiled, "Decorating the castle with rappigs bouncing off the walls made life hard for a few days, though."

"And what about you, Tear?"

She didn't answer, her eyes fixated on the blue vase in front of her.

"Tear?" Natalia called out, concerned. Once more, no answer had been received, prompting the princess to gently tap the melodist's arm, resulting in her jerking away from the sudden touch.

"Tear, madam Fabre asked how you've been," Guy reaffirmed gently, "sorry, she has been a little distant since I picked her up this morning."

"Oh, uh, I've been fine, I'm okay..." Tear ate her words in embarrassment from zoning out. Susanne smiled at her, to which she avoided looking at her face.

"That's good to hear, I got sick last week but as soon as I got better two days ago, yesterday morning Mieu came down with a fever that finally broke last night," the lady replied, "I want to think that he's unused to Kimlascan winters, but also coincidental that it's around now he gets sick, poor thing is knocked out right now."

"Aw, I'm sure he really wanted to see us..." the melodist mumbled, her attention had been caught at the mention of the cheagle.

"Yes, he did. My husband not being here at the moment is helping him recover without stress, but I'd like for us to leave him alone for the time being." The lady smiled and swore she saw her niece's two friends breathe a sigh of relief.

The day went forward as the four sat in the drawing room, talking about various topics that would always end up back to Luke and Asch, as painful as it may have been. Guy tried his best to keep both Tear and Natalia in good spirits, knowing that they were still grieving. As the air became colder as the day wore on, Tear asked a sudden question.

"Uh, Your Grace? How, did you feel when Luke came back years ago?" Susanne's face transformed from a smile, to a calm yet firm composure. Tear mentally panicked after seeing the change in her face, instantly regretting what she had asked and began to shake her leg anxiously.

"I...felt odd. When I didn't know that Lu- Asch - had been replicated and I was made to think he lost all of his memories, I desperately wanted to help him regain his skills," the lady began, "I only got as far as to helping Luke walk again, but from there, I was ordered to let the servants take over, was told that it was unbecoming of a lady to teach such a big child what one would help a baby learn, and that they would recover the real Luke from within."

"It was pushed onto me and the servants to help raise Luke back to age, I remember he said once that he felt distant from his parents because they didn't really play a big part." Susanne remained silent at Guy's words, "sometimes I wondered if we over spoiled Luke for him to get his bad attitude early on in our journey, but I realized there were even more factors, if you consider Van himself, his distance from his parents, and of course, being confined until he came of age."

"I've come to realize that I never felt like I lost a son, and that I just felt like I had another one, and it was true, in a sense," the lady continued, "When I saw Asch for the first time in seven years, it felt as if I had my whole family with me for once, I had both of my sons under the same roof, and it felt complete, even if it only ever happened once."

"When I saw Asch for the first time in the Abandoned Factory, something in me said that I knew him, and I was right, I did. He was the Luke I had always loved, and all my heart said to do was to relive the old days," Natalia began, "but when he changed I realized, there's no way we can go back, just move forward, and I truly do wish we had more time together."

"When Tear and Luke initially blew out of here, I thought I had lost him again, but this time permanently." Susanne finished, not knowing of the former soldier's reaction.

Tear felt guilt eating at her, unable to form words. Her tongue felt tied to her jaw, and her body glued to the seat and numbed by the cold air. She forced herself to regain composure, and stood up, prepared to leave. "I'm sorry."

"Nope, you have nothing to be sorry about, sit right back down." Guy grabbed her arm tightly and pulled her back, resulting in a hiss and a whine from the melodist, who had crossed her arms and had resumed to bounce her leg.

"No, no, Tear, it's alright, if it hadn't been for you, we would not have come this far."

"But if I hadn't come to the manor to kill Van, you wouldn't have gotten sick over the accident, His Grace would have been satisfied, Mohs would not have turned His Highness against Luke and Natalia, and-"

"Easy, Tear, you're shaking, you're alright, we got through all of it." Natalia reassured her, resting a hand on top of hers before Tear swiftly pulled it back. _"If you hadn't come to the manor, I, and aunty, would have never seen Asch again, or met you."_ Susanne had seemed confused at her guest's reaction, and managed a smile towards her, but was met with the evasion of eye contact, and the melodist keeping her gaze to the floor to avoid even looking at her.

The afternoon continued with conversations about two particular redheads, laughs and some tears. Once the sun had begun to set, Tear immediately got up, as if ready to leave. "Guy, it's sundown, we have to go." she hastily announced, careful not to frighten her friend.

"Whoa, whoa, we don't have to go now now, we can wait five extra minutes." The swordsman replied anxiously, taking hold of Tear's arm in an attempt to calm her down.

"What's this? You two have to go already and now?" Natalia questioned, her face gradually falling into a frown. _"No don't leave yet, you two being here have been the best thing to happen this whole week."_

"No, no it's just that-" The former soldier had been cut off.

"I thought we were having a good afternoon, what's wrong?" The sudden change in tone made Tear anxious and she failed to find the words to respond, feeling about ready to shut down for accidentally offending the lady.

"No, Tear and I had plans to visit Tataroo Valley tonight, and Noelle said she'd pick us up at sunset." Guy piped up, "Tear, you go on ahead down, I have something I want to do before getting down to the port." The melodist nodded, thanked Susanne for her hospitality, and greeted the princess before rushing out the door, though Natalia realized that her friend had been...off. She quickly grabbed her arm and held it tightly, Tear beginning to struggle to escape.

"Hey, it's okay, I just wanted to ask if you would like to attend my sleepover next month."

"A sleepover? As in, a slumber party sleepover?" Tear seemed taken aback at her words, unsure of how to reply to an invite, her very first invite, to a social event.

"Yes, I'm having a girls' sleepover just before my coming of age. Anise is invited and so are Noelle and Cecille. I was about to send out your invitation before you came, but since you're here." Natalia smiled.

"Uh, sure, I'd love to."

"Great! The information is in this invitation here, and I look forward to seeing you!" The princess excitedly squealed before finally letting go of her friend. Tear received the envelope and smiled awkwardly before finally leaving the manor.

"Your Grace? Your Highness? I thank you for hosting us on behalf of both Tear and myself. I apologize for the sudden exit." The swordsman sighed, "my lady, I thought you should at least have this, it's Luke's diary." He reached into a small knapsack and pulled out the book, handing it to Susanne. She should be glad that she has something left of her son, but ultimately wanted to cry as she felt this gesture reminded her of what - who - she lost.

"Thank you so much, Guy." The lady forced out meekly.

"I'll walk you out, if that's okay. And I can also give you Noelle and Anise's invitations as well." Natalia offered, leaving with her friend, who waved goodbye to his host.

-

"What's with Tear? She never seemed this anxious around our family," the princess began while walking her friend out of the manor.

"I suspect it's something about being near Luke's parents after he's gone, she hasn't been herself since Eldrant fell," the swordmaster sighed, "and in my honest opinion, neither have you. Have you been good lately?"

"...I've been okay, doing better every day." The princess lied. The memory of her kiss with Asch continued to replay in her head like a broken record, she couldn't let anybody see her distress.

"...I can take it when Tear fakes it, because most of the time I cannot tell if she is, but I know you genuinely are not okay." Guy stopped walking and responded firmly, frightening the princess, "tell me the truth, how have you been."

"I'm okay! I'm doing better!"

"Natalia, why did your eyes look puffy when we came earlier? That isn't a sign of being okay." The princess froze in an attempt to hide both the guilt of lying and the shame of her thoughts.

"...I've been thinking about Asch and Luke lately."

_"I figured as much."_

"I've seen Asch in my dreams almost every night, and I'm sick of it!" Natalia had been on the verge of crying once more, a sign that Guy took as his to leave her alone.

"I'm really sorry that it hasn't been going well for you, we're all here for you, and I don't blame you for not moving on yet." Guy reassured her softly, feeling a wave of sadness surround him, "Life after Eldrant has been hard, and I understand that."

"I... think I can get through this on my own, thank you."

"Once you say so, see you next month then."

~

The moonlight spread itself amongst the blooming selenias in Tataroo Valley. Tear found herself sitting in the dusty floor, gently skimming her hand over various flowers before her, lost in her thoughts. Guy monitored her from a distance, pondering about Natalia's question from earlier. _"She never seemed this anxious around our family."_

"Tear? May I ask a question?" He was met with the wind howling as his friend continued to pass her fingers along the petals of a delicate selenia. "Tear?"

"Hm?"

"Why do you tense up around Luke's parents? Did something happen that we're not aware of?"

_"I cannot tell him of that morning argument with Duke Fabre."_

"No, everything is fine, I just...just..." She trailed off, her chest hurt at the question about her anxiety, what if Guy ridiculed her for feeling that way? She is, was, a soldier, she's supposed to be more composed than this.

"It's okay if you don't have an answer now." He swore he could have heard a sigh of relief, it may have just been the wind once more. It did not feel as though it had been a month since the fall of Eldrant, the replica laid on the land in Tataroo Valley's horizon, dilapidated but not yet overridden by ivy and moss, but pretty soon, it would start. Search parties had been sent to conduct, and are conducting, investigations to find what could be salvaged. It had came out as a shocking story when only the body of Legretta the Quick was able to be found, no traces of Sync the Tempest, Asch the Bloody, Van, or Luke. While most wouldn't have figured out why this had been the case, Tear and friends knew all too well. The sight of the replica Hod resurfaced memories of Eldrant, from the beginning to the end - the sight of Legretta's corpse, the memory of Luke telling them that Asch had died and Sync vanishing right in front of their eyes, to defeating Van and seeing him disappear as well. It had come as a surprise when Tear refused to see her mentor's body one last time before cremation just the week before, or the memorial service done for hee brother by Teodoro and 'family' friends, and when asked about either, she did not answer. She used her same neutral face whenever approached about her lost loved ones. The real face beneath her mask had always been a mystery, and Guy was beginning to realize, seeing the melodist now, after defeating her brother, that the mask had begun to break. He had never seen her like this, if they were still on their journey, Tear would not have been sitting on the dusty floor, childishly caressing flowers in a valley where dangerous monsters roamed at night. The Tear that he knows would have just stood to the side while looking out at the sparkling ocean. It felt wrong to think of this, but to Guy, she looked...at peace, to a certain point. Her body language when around others had become more tense and anxious, but once left to her own elements, she seemed calm. To Guy, it had been as if she had slowly begun to defrost from the icy personality he knew all too well, but it had been too early to come to that conclusion, it had only been a few weeks since he last saw her hug her birthday gift.

~

"Aunty? May I ask you something, in confidence?" Natalia met with her aunt late in the night, having snuck out of her bedroom and back into the manor.

"Oh? Sure, what is it?"

"I've noticed earlier that Tear is on edge around you, she was so quick to leave, and looked overwhelmed before she left." The princess began, "when, and if she comes to my sleepover, would you mind spending an afternoon to get to know her? This anxiety around you isn't doing great for her, and she's my friend, so if she's visiting and on edge around my family, she's going to be even more miserable."

"I'd love to do that!" The two women smiled at the proposal of their plan, and before Natalia could have left back to the castle, she had been stopped, "Natalia? You know it's okay to admit that you're still sad over Asch." She froze in complete silence, unsure whether to admit or deny this to the woman she saw as a mother for the past number of years.

"I'm doing better over it, thank you, have a good night, aunty." She hastily replied before darting out the door, running back to the castle and into her room. She felt horrible for still being sad over him. He would have wanted her to move on by now, but why can't she just forget about him and continue with her life?! Why must she suffer in the agony of her lover's death, and having imagined a future that will never happen. Her head began to throb after another onset of emotions, signalling that it was time for her to sleep, questioning if she should in the event that another dream about Asch would occur. She deeply exhaled, sleepily walked towards the window and opened it. The night sky over Baticul had been clear, save for two bright stars close to each other, attempting to outshine one another. Natalia smiled at the stars' competition, alike to how Luke and Asch could have been if they were able to grow up together. One star began to lose its glow, while the other shone brighter, the dull star slowly falling as the bright star ascended. She gazed at the lonely falling star descending behind the snowy mountains, thinking about one she knew who would have been her star falling out of the sky. The memory of seeing him one final time before it was all over replayed once more, and in a desperate attempt to save her mentality, Natalia shut the window and flung herself into her bed.

"Happy birthday, Asch. I love you, and I miss you."


	4. chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tear visits Daath for the first time since the jounney, and Guy finally lets out his emotions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! This is going up later than I would have liked but I kept it until the US elections were done (non American here). Well, it's STILL not done but I really wanted to upload because I needed to get things going. I'd also like to apologize to Guy fans. I wil be real, writing that part hit me really bad. Anyway enjoy :)
> 
> (trigger warning for a meltdown, just to be safe)

Rem-Decan 23, ND2019.

Guy had started his day with his normal routine - breakfast, check in with any advisors, check with Emperor Peony, then walk the rappigs. Usually, he would have a smile on his face when attending to his duties, but the swordsman couldn't bring himself to. Today marked one year since Luke and Tear blasted off to Tataroo Valley, one year since he left in pursuit to find his enemy's son, one year since everything truly began. He sat in the rappigs' room and emotionally detached himself from them. Guy couldn't understand this feeling he had in his body, he felt... barren. He felt as if a part of him went completely limp and he had no physical feeling there. Guy felt as though if he were to vanish at this instant, he wouldn't feel the gradual disappearance.

A rappig trotted up to him as he sat brooding in the corner of their room, and fit himself in between his legs, wagging his short tail and snorted.

"Hey, Saphir, did I worry you?"

Saphir grunted, wiping his mucus against his caretaker and giving a proud smile. Guy grimaced and attempted to wipe it off on the next chair's fabric.

"Hey! That's gross!" The rappig dropped himself into a sitting position and tilted his head expectantly. Guy sighed and got up, but Saphir refused to move out of his path.

"Saphir, I will call Jade if you don't move. You know which one." He grunted once more before laying down at his sitter's feet, essentially trapping him into a corner.

"Fine, you win, you get a foot pillow for today." Guy sulked and returned to his seat, watching the bright and sunny outdoors through the window.

_"Reminds me a bit of when I used to visit Luke through the windows, in a way. And Saphir wanting my attention reminds me of when Luke used to get bored and sought me out."_

Saphir, in an attempt to win back Guy's attention, sneezed on his foot, then looked up to the annoyed caretaker and grinned, knowing what he had done.

"Thanks, Saphir, much appreciated."

~

"Tear!! It's been so long since you've been to Daath!" Anise hugged her comrade who had finally returned for the first time since their journey. Tear put up a weak smile and returned the hug before feeling a sharp force embrace her as well.

"Hi Tear!! I missed you and everyone!!" Florian greeted with a smile on his face.

"Anise, Florian, it's been so long." The melodist laughed to herself and returned the greetings. Anise's parents watched from a distance while working on sorting books for charity. They waved towards their daughter's friend, who had returned the gesture.

"I'm guessing you're here for Van's stuff, huh."

"...Yeah, and for the remainder of my Oracle Knight items."

"So you're not coming back??" the young replica seemed confused by her words tilting his head and giving a puppy-like face.

"No, I'll come to visit you and Anise for sure, but I'm leaving the Oracle Knights, there's really nothing left for me here." Tear comforted him.

"Kind of sad that you're leaving, but I can get where you're coming from." Anise added while a stray balloon caught Florian's attention, causing him to dart off to retrieve it.

"Mama and Papa told me where Van's office was, I'll take you there." Anise led Tear into the next room, Florian realized he had been left alone and followed the two.

~

_"The lightning looks so cool! Tear, why are you hiding?" A young 7 year old boy called out, followed directly by his four year old sister._

_"Tear's being a big baby, hiding under a blanket!" The younger child taunted and laughed at the pile of blanket laying on the sofa, "I'm four and like it, 'nd she's five 'nd says 'it hurts', but it doesn't hurt me or Sein!"_

_"I don't like it." Tear responded, tightening her embrace around the cheagle plush that laid alongside her and kneading its head._

_"Leave her alone, Alissa. Not everyone likes it like you and your brother." The siblings' mother scolded her daughter, only to be given a tongue in return. Jessie shrugged at her daughter's rude gesture, and tapped the royal blue blanket gently. "Tear? I'm ready to do your hair, you can bring your cheagle if you want." A bright flash lit the Qliphoth's toxic sky, followed by the booming of thunder. The five year old flinched under her security blanket, tiny hands covering tinier ears in an attempt to filter out the sound._

_"Tear?"_

_"C-Coming, aunty." She reluctantly emerged with her stuffed cheagle and followed her caretaker to the next room. Alissa pulled her bottom eyelid down and stuck her tongue out, calling the older girl a crybaby and mocked her with crying noises. Tear looked at Sein, who gave an awkward smile and shrugged before she closed the door behind her. The five year old tightened her grip on her cheagle at every flash and boom while her caretaker groomed her hair, careful to not pull too hard on the lone knot in her hair, or Tear would have begun to cry. Another flash, followed by a boom appeared and she began to groan and attempt to escape. Jessie let the child's hair loose and pulled her inwards._

_"Tear, it's just thunder and lightning, it's not uncommon." The woman sighed but attempted to keep a cheerful expression._

_"Thunder's too... loud 'nd lightning hurts my eyes..." She had barely been able to find her words to respond, overwhelmed by the phenomena outdoors._

_"It's like that for everybody though, dear." Jessie had been confused by the answer given, why was Tear specifically acting out about it, and it hadn't been the first time._

_"B-But my...whoooooole body hurts..." The little girl dragged out, her hands have now returned to covering her little ears._

_"You're overthinking things, now let's get your hair into one." The woman restarted grooming and tying her hair, bringing most loose strands into a ponytail, and finding hairclips to get her remaining hair out of her face, "I don't understand why you like your hair like that, it doesn't look presentable."_

_"My face is cold." Tear said in a low and choked voice._

_"It's not that cold, is it?"_

_"It is."_

_Jessie sighed once more and bent down in front of her ward, trying to make eye contact with the girl who so desperately avoided it. She cupped her face forward and looked into her baby blue eyes, Tear kept trying to avert her gaze. "Look at me, we can't control the thunder and lightning, but they don't last long, maybe try doing something while they happen like you were before?" She spoke in a soft voice, while the child in front of her focused on settling back underneath her blanket with her cheagle, she was desperate to get away from the overload of stimuli._

_"Yes, aunty."_

_"Alright then, let's go back!"_

_Once freed, Tear grabbed her cheagle and darted back into the living room without acknowledging Sein, who had just ran out of the room and into the kitchen, or Alissa, who had an almost evil-like grin, only caring about returning to her small safe space that she created to weather out the storm. The sofa only held its three cushions, there had been no sign of the royal blue blanket that protected her once before, distressing the child._

_"Wh-Where's my blanket?!"_

_"I tol' Sein to hide 't somewhere you can never find 't cause you needa grow up!" Alissa shouted at the top of her lungs, causing more pain to the older girl she hated so much._

_"Where is it!!! Tell me!!" Tear had been on the verge of melting down, her temper slowly seeping out and her voice raised so loud that it harmed her vocal cords. If Van or Teodoro had been home, she would have been scolded for not using her inside voice, but now, her inside voice had completely disappeared._

_"Like I'll tell! You're a big baby, Tear! This 's for your own good!" The four year old jeered, "if you didn' take your cheagle, I woulda cut it up!"_

_"Shut up! Shut up shut up shut up SHUT UP!"_

_"Tear, do not say that! Apologize!" Jessie scolded the five year old who had begun to squeeze her stuffed creature so hard that if it were an actual person, their airways would have been cut off._

_"Say sorry Tear, you big bully!"_

_"NO." A particularly large bolt of lightning appeared in the poisonous sky, filling the room with its bright light and an extremely loud clap of thunder roared, causing Tear to finally break from having to choose between protecting her ears or her plush from her bully. She dropped to the floor and began to bawl her little eyes out. Her face instantly became a raw red and she tried so hard to cover it with her upper arms._

_"You're a big baby! This 's why your big brother stays 'way, he proby hates you!" Alissa found entertainment in her enemy's meltdown and continued to taunt her, even walking up close in an attempt to kick her, but had been stopped by her mother's grasp._

_"Go to your room and stay there, now. And tell your brother to go too."_

_"But-"_

_"Now, Alissa, and get the blanket back or you will not have dessert later."_

_"She deserved it!"_

_"Alissa Talbas, I will tell your father what you and Sein did when he gets home." The threat of her father had made it enough for the child to scurry up to her room, leaving her mother to handle the child melting down on the floor in front of her, not before screaming "I hate you, Tear!" She had managed to pick her up, but struggled to get her to stand. Jessie pried the cheagle plush out of the five year old's arms, only to cause the young girl to dig her fingernails into her cheeks._

_"Tear, stop that, you're going to mark your face." The woman scolded and grabbed her arms, holding them at her sides so she wouldn't try to injure herself further. Her nails had clumps of red in them, and her right cheek had begun to bleed from how deep she had dug in. The feeling of being held down by her caretaker caused the child to feel worse and attempt to break free. Jessie struggled to keep Tear still while gradually tightening her grip on her. She persisted in trying to get away until the pressure of being grabbed caused her to collapse onto the floor once more. Her eyes were extremely puffy and her eyes red and her face raw and salty. The salt from her tears got to her wounds amd caused them to sting, Tear's crying continued until she began to cough after every few seconds._

_"Tear, stop it, you're beginning to behave badly, Alissa was being her usual self, she was mean but you should not have told her to shut up." The five year old immediately stopped crying and her head numbed. Her body had become limp, unable to move or say anything while her caretaker struggled to carry her to the guestroom. Tear had been dragged into the room and onto the bed, with blurry vision watching the door close and hearing it lock._

_"I'll tell grandpa about what happened today, he should know at least, but those tantrums are unbecoming of you, young lady," the woman sighed, "Tear, you need to learn to ignore Alissa, she's only playing, and she's younger than you, I have no idea how and why she sets you off so much, she's just being a spunky little girl." She laid there, alone without her comfort toy or blanket, she had begun cold sweating at the mention of her only family members hearing about this incident. Even in this burnt out state, she knew Aunt Jessie would twist the story to make it as if Alissa had only been joking and that her nasty acts were 'just playing.' Her sight became foggy and her head throbbed before drifting off to sleep. How silly had she been thinking anyone would actually help her. Tear stopped breaking down away from home from that day forward._

~

Anise settled into the sofa while Tear was seated in the office chair and began to go through her brother's desk. Florian sat in the corner with his balloon, rubbing it gently with his hands and making noise. The puppeteer noticed that the former soldier had begun to look visibly upset as she looked further into Van's belongings - there had been items here that she never even knew about.

"So, Tear, how were the New Year celebrations for you? We had a big celebration for the Daathic children and there were loads of balloons, you should have seen how much Florian loved them," the young girl chuckled, "and the fireworks were so beautiful too. It must have been your first time really seeing them, right?"

Tear hesitated to respond for a moment, before replying, "Yes, and they were so pretty, I loved them."

_"I hated them and they drove me nuts."_

"One of the fireworks was in a cheagle design and when it went off there was a huge cheagle in the sky and it was so cool!" Florian piped up excitedly, balloon in his hands.

"How did you and your grandfather spend the holidays? Did you two treat yourself after everything that has happened?" Anise continued while Florian returned to playing with his balloon.

"Um, we...just relaxed and that was all. Guy and I went to Tataroo Valley once, and that's about it." The melodist seemed more unsure in her response, she quickly returned to sorting out originally unseen documents.

_"I spent it alone, like always."_

The melodist continued to rummage through the drawer before finding a small, familiar book, with stars on the cover. It had worn with age and hadn't seemed to have collected dust or begun to decompose, but with how the pages had discoloured to yellow, she was able to tell that it may have been even older than her. Upon closer inspection, a wearing away label with a name was found at the bottom edge of the book. Tear's eyes widened after reading the name of its author to herself.

"Hey, what's that you got there?" Anise leaned forward, eyeing the book in the former soldier's hand.

"It's...my mother's diary. Van...kept it with him," she found herself at a loss for words, "I didn't even know she had one at all..."

"Woah, he kept that from you, to the point that you didn't even know it existed?!" The puppeteer gasped, "is the writing legible? Maybe you can find out some answers in it if you can." Tear carefully opened the diary, and gently skimmed through the pages. After a certain point, she found a photograph, caught with at the time the newest fon machine, wearing away in the book's middle. An instant wave of hesitancy prevented her from properly focusing on the image, her body had begun to tell her to just move on and do not look at the picture.

"Tear? Everything cool?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, I'm fine."

Florian continued to hit his toy into the air, chasing it around and hitting back once it got closer to the floor. He bumped into Anise with his back while reversing to hit the balloon once more. She smiled, and volleyed it forward for him to play with once more.

"Are you sure that's all you're taking? You're okay with just disposing of your brother's schemes?" The puppeteer's eyes dilated once she saw how little the box had been packed.

"It's best to burn them so nobody gets their hands on them, also I would like to leave all of it in the past, I just want to move on with my life." Tear concluded once she closed off her box and squatted to lift it off the floor.

_"That's if I can move on."_

Anise nodded and called to her ward, reminding him that it had been time to leave Van's office. Florian nodded and tossed his balloon one last time, expecting for it to return to his hands. Instead, it floated up to the bottom of the fonstone chandelier, and its sharp bottom immediately popped it upon contact, the noise joined by two loud shrieks.

"Aaaaannnniiisssseeee!!" Florian screamed, running behind the puppeteer with his hands over his ears.

"Hey, be careful, it's okay." She sighed and turned to meet him at eye level, "you didn't know the balloon would hit the lights, but you need to be careful, it was so much louder because we are in a closed room."

"Sorry..."

"It's alright, just be more careful next time." Florian removed his hands from his ears and stood straight, Anise following in posture.

"Anise, where's Tear?" The replica's eyes scanned the room, looking for the melodist who had been nowhere to be found. Anise took a quick look around before checking behind Van's desk, finding Tear crouching underneath, shielding her own ears. Florian followed Anise's gaze, and moved behind the desk to meet his vulnerable friend. Confused, he poked the back of her head, causing Tear to flinch.

"I found you!"

"Tear, are you okay? I never saw you react like that to a loud noise." Anise met the melodist and crouched to meet her.

"I'm...fine...it just scared me, that's all." She downplayed her pain with a smile and stood straight. Her movements had become shaky and unbalanced, her hand holding her cradling her face.

"It's a bit odd you reacted like that to a balloon popping, haven't you heard the cannons blast before?"

Tear stopped at the question posed before her. She never liked those cannons. She never liked all of those loud noises, but it would have been unbecoming of her as a soldier to react, so she stopped, to the point where the dislike of them had been completely forgotten. It had been the first time in a very long while since Tear last heard such a loud noise, the balloon's popping not only brought back that vital information, but brought along with it a headache. Anise called once more after realizing that the melodist had been standing there with her back towards the puppeteer without giving a response.

"...Sorry it just surprised me, that's all." Tear proceeded to lift the box of her brother's belongings that she chose to salvage and began to make her way to the door, her gaze locked onto the floor.

"But...you had your hands by your ears? Like I did?" Florian questioned innocently.

"No, I just-ah!" Tear stopped and turned to answer the replica, but once her eyes adjusted, the light from the fonstones amplified her headache and her head began to throb.

"Tear, are you-"

"I'm fine, Florian, thank you, my head just hurts a little bit, okay?" Florian maintained his frown as he watched her walk away.

"Hey, you aren't in any position to be carrying that box on your own, let me at least make sure you don't keel over." Anise darted forward and supported her friend's arms around the box. She mentally told herself that the right idea was acted upon, as Tear's body had become unsteady and clammy. Her headache began to worsen the longer the puppeteer and replica stayed so physically close to her, her breathing began to deepen and her chest had started to pound rapidly.

"Tear, are you okay?" Florian questioned once more, noticing her distress. She attempted to speak, but was unable to bring out words.

"Yeah, you haven't been yourself since that balloon popped."

_"Just speak, you idiot."_

"Anise, it's time for one of Florian's lessons- oh, hello Tear, did you get everything you needed?" Oliver Tatlin yelled from the bottom of the stairs as his daughter and her friends made their way down.

"Papa, he'll be there shortly, he's just helping us." Anise responded in a sing-song voice.

_"Just shut up. Please."_

"Tear, you haven't answered me." The young replica began to prod Tear for an answer, her eyebrows furrowed as she became more overwhelmed and her inability to speak lingered.

_"Talk like any other normal person."_

Florian gave one more poke before the melodist finally jerked away and accidentally hit Anise as they reached the bottom.

"Ow, Tear what was that for?!" She angrily retorted, the flames in her eyes igniting.

"No- sorry I didn't mean to-"

"Honestly, we just wanted to help!" Anise scoffed and walked over to her confused father.

"Anise-"

"Papa, not now, I'm mad." Internally, Tear's emotions began to erupt, upset that Florian kept poking her, angry that Anise wouldn't even let her defend herself, and even angrier at herself for getting into this state. This would not have happened had she actually did like everyone else and not be affected by the popping of a balloon.

"Anise, I kept poking her, it's my fault." The replica owned up to his mistakes, but at that point, the melodist moved closer to the doorway leading to the main hall of the cathedral, "Tear, I'm sorry, I should have stopped!"

Anise had finally calmed down enough to think rationally, but Tear had remained on edge. Though, her facial expression looked... the same as always?

"Hey, Tear, sorry for that, I didn't realize Florian was poking you, I shouldn't have exploded like that."

"..It's okay, sorry again for hitting you."

"It's fine, hey wanna go for a wa-"

"Can I just have some time to myself? Thanks." Tear cut Anise off and left with the box in her arms.

"Wait-"

"Anise, let her go, she's still grieving, all of you are." Oliver held onto his daughter, preventing her from chasing after her friend. Florian hid behind the man, his eyes locked to the floor and on the verge of crying.

"I'm sorry Anise..."

"No, Florian, you already apologized to Tear, just give it time, besides, we'll be seeing her again soon, right?" Anise walked over to her ward and hugged him.

"I don't know her as well as you two do, but isn't it a bit odd on how she reacted, despite how you have described her?" Oliver scratched his head.

"I know she liked to hide her emotions, but this is so odd of her," The puppeteer sighed, "I wonder if I can bring it up with her when we go to Natalia's coming of age."

~

The day went by in a flash, and Guy couldn't believe he had spent most of the day brooding over his emotions. He only realized the time when Nephry the rappig had begun to scratch at his legs and squeal for food. Once fed, Guy left and walked aimlessly through the castle's halls.

"Guy, you good? Heard from the maids that you've just been adrift today." Emperor Peony approached his servant, greeting him with a hard pat on the back.

"Ow, hello, Your Highness, I'll.... be okay, I think."

"You think? Really? That's it? You look like the whole sky is overcast and hanging directly over your head," The older man scolded, Guy sheepishly looking away, "come with me to the drawing room, let's talk."

Upon arrival, Guy's eyes immediately locked onto Luke the rappig, sleeping in the corner. _"Lovely, just the rappig I needed to see."_ He hissed mentally. Peony sat him down at the table, and pulled a chair forward.

"I noticed you've been a bit down lately, ever since the new year started, what's wrong? You know you can confide in me, right?" The swordsman hesitated for a lengthy amount of time, unsure whether to come clean, or to lie and just get out as quickly as possibly can. "Guy, I'm not letting you go or move until I get the truth."

"Today marks a year since Luke blasted out of the manor with Tear, and the first day that he really left Kimlasca at all," he confessed, "and, all I feel is, empty. I feel like I'm not even alive, just existing. It doesn't feel right that my best friend isn't here anymore, it's like a part of me is just, gone as well." He held back his tears for his own good, he knew his eyes were becoming red, and looked down towards the table.

"When I visited Tataroo Valley with Tear last month, I realized how much she changed, like she's getting close to breaking from keeping an emotional distance from us and losing everyone she held dear in her life, and I thought that I'll be there to support her when it does happen, because I know it will happen. But then I realized, maybe I'm not far off from how she feels, either. Your Majesty, I keep trying to distract myself lately from thinking about Luke, and today, I was on the verge of crying from it all."

"Gailardia..."

"I tried to relax with the rappigs, but I still got distracted from them and caught into my own feelings. I feel trapped in this empty state. Saphir came and began to wipe his snot on me, but it still didn't help." Guy's voice began to shake, "it feels too odd without him, it's as if I just feel empty." He sunk his head into his hands and slouched over. Peony frowned and proceeded to pull his servant into an embrace, realizing it had been needed once he felt moisture on his shoulder.

"Don't even try to apologize, it's alright, grieving is normal."

"...thank you, Your Majesty." The emperor smiled and let him cry out some of his emotions. Luke the rappig had awoken from the sounds of his caretaker crying and tilted his head. He trotted up to Guy's leg and began to snuggle his body across in a comforting manner. The swordsman broke out of the hug, and bent to pet the rappig. "Thanks, Luke."

"You should go get some rest, being depressed is tiring and does not feel good."

"It really doesn't, thanks again, Your Majesty, good night." Guy rose and proceeded to leave the room, Luke trailing behind him.

~

"Your Majesty, I have returned, why are you still up now?" Jade entered the drawing room in the wee hours of the morning, finding the emperor sitting alone at the table.

"Sorry about that, was just talking with Guy, that's all."

"Your Highness, that was hours ago."

"Oh, was it?" Jade mentally rolled his eyes at Peony playing dumb, taking the remaining empty seat.

"Well, St. Binah seems to be recovering very well from the fall, and Glenn McGovern is beginning to take over his father's duties, and Malkuth's investigation squad returned from Eldrant, no signs of any soldiers, or Luke." The emperor zoned out at the mention of the redhead, staring into space and shutting out his childhood friend's words.

"Your Majesty? Are you listening?"

"What? Oh, yeah. Sorry, Jade."

"Anyway, what was it you were speaking to Guy about?" Peony hesitated, not wanting to give out Guy's private moment without permission from his servant.

"He, wasn't feeling the best, but is alright now."

"Was it because of Luke?" Jade was met with silence, knowing from his emperor's body language that he had been right, he would have been surprised if he weren't. "I completely understand why he wouldn't feel good. He can do something that I can't, he can actually grieve."

"What about your other friends? How have they been dealing with everything?"

"Anise has taken charge in aiding with Florian, Tear is leaving the Oracle Knights, and Natalia's coming of age is soon."

"Oh, so then you and Guy get to see them again very soon, seems like a nice break for you, wish I could have come." Peony smiled.

"But she invited you, are you rejecting her invitation?"

"Tension between Kimlasca and Malkuth haven't fully settled down yet, and add the fact that the husband of Natalia's aunt is, you know..."

"Yes, yes, I know." The necromancer adjusted his glasses and frowned at the thought of Duke Fabre exploding at the sight of Malkuth's reigning emperor, hilarious at best and ugly at worst.

"When you go, give her my congratulations, and give Tear, Anise and Florian my regards too." Peony got up from his seat and proceeded to the door, Jade following, "and, watch over Guy, will you? It may be a little hard for him."

"Yes, I will. Good night, Your Majesty." The two men went their separate paths. As Jade walked down the castle halls, he reflected upon the words _"It may be a bit hard for him."_ He chuckled to himself, knowing that it's not only 'a little hard' for Guy alone.


	5. chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natalia holds a girls' sleepover, while Guy, Jade, Ginji and Florian play a card game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy 15th anniversary to Tales of the Abyss!! I love this game so much, so I decided to wait on publishing this chapter. I apologize if the sleepover stuff sounds weird, I only ever went to one and it wasn't traditional, all we did was play Mario Party, T pose on a kayak and feed chicken to ducks. Hope you enjoy it though!

"I honestly can't believe my baby girl is going to be of age very soon," Ingobert sighed as he watched his daughter arrange her room to accommodate her guests.

"Father, I'll always be here, no matter what, though I wish Mother were here to see it." Natalia smiled back.

"Ah, yes, Olivia would have loved to see her daughter grow up to be the beautiful young woman she is now, and so would have Sylvia." The king gazed at the pictures of his and his daughter's family standing on her chest of drawers. In the center of the frames laid a locket from her birth father, a memento of him and the memory of what he died for.

"I must ask though, why wouldn't you have wanted to let your friends into one of your aunt's guest rooms like she offered?"

"I think, it may be a bit more comfortable for them to be in the castle with me than in the manor," Natalia responded while straightening the chairs, remembering Tear's anxiety from being near Susanne, "besides, I heard the middle class girls' sleepovers used sleeping bags in the room, and not really much beds. I just wanted to feel like one of them at their get-togethers, you know?"

The king nodded, "do you ever think about him..? Largo, I mean."

The princess waited for a few seconds, finding the words to use. "Yes, I do, and sometimes I think of what could have been, but I would think he'd want me to live on for him."

"If I were in Badaq's place, I would too." Natalia smiled as she folded one of the quilts provided for her sleepover the next day while her father continued, "sometimes, guilt eats at me for exiling him from Kimlasca, maybe things could have truly been different for the two of you, maybe he would have lead a different life, maybe he would have still been alive, or had a family."

"I saw how much he cared for that little God General, Arietta, like she was his own daughter. The very few times that I saw them together, he looked like a proud father supporting his daughter in her actions. He was there for her, even at her end." The princess sadly recounted Arietta's last fight at the Cheagle Woods, her eyes glanced over onto her birth father's locket. Ingobert walked up to his daughter with an envelope in his hand and a warm smile one his face.

"This isn't your real birthday gift, you will get that on your actual birthday, but I wanted to give you this." He passed the parcel to her, and watched as she opened it to pull out a picture frame, holding an image of her with Luke - Asch - as children, watching the sunset from her balcony in the castle. Part of her wished he had never given her this, as she had wanted to forget about a certain redhead for the time, but Natalia had been mesmerized at the beautiful image from their childhood, unsure as to when it was even taken.

"Father, this is beautiful!"

"Happy birthday, my amazing and beautiful daughter." Ingobert pulled her into a loving embrace.

~

"We're here!!" Anise's voice echoed into the castle that she, Tear and Noelle were escorted into. Natalia bolted out of the drawing room and into the hall, enveloping her friends into an embrace.

"You're here! Welcome!"

"Hi! Jade, Guy, Florian and my brother are here too, but they'll be staying in the manor, having a guys' night." Noelle greeted the princess, "I could never imagine Jade of all people having a guys' night."

"He amazes me more everyday with what he can pull out of his sleeve." The puppeteer snickered.

"Tear, you're in your soldier uniform, didn't you leave the knights?" Natalia faced her friend and held onto her shoulders, Tear began to constantly make and break eye contact out of anxiety.

"I'm...used to these clothes, why not."

"I told her they look tight on her and all, but she wouldn't listen." Anise rolled her eyes.

"They're comfortable, Anise, they're as comfortable as Mieu's ring is around his tummy."

"That's different, though, he can just slip on something underneath the Sorcerer's Ring and still benefit from its effects." Noelle added, "plus, that's literally all you wear when you go out, to be fairly honest." The melodist kept quiet while her friends began to giggle. She couldn't speak or move after the comment, she felt the ice of the situation accumulate and freeze around her.

"I'll have to take you clothes shopping one of these days, Tear. Anyhow, let's get you settled indoors." The princess led the young women indoors, Anise and Noelle followed, leaving Tear frozen behind. "Tear, are you coming?"

"What? Oh, yeah, coming." She defrosted and began to follow her friends into the castle.

"I'm so happy that you were able to come, it means a lot to me to have a slumber party like one of the commoner girls." The princess beamed, "unfortunately, Cecille couldn't make it, something came up with her family, and she had to cancel." The young women frowned in the disappointment of one guest being absent, but their mood changed once they had arrived in Natalia's room and settled themselves, their host bouncing excitedly. Tear revealed her dragon and cheagle plushes and placed them on the loveseat, with Anise grinning and propping Tokunaga next to them.

"You still have the dragon plush! How has it been with him?" The princess smiled upon seeing her friend's birthday gift from the month prior.

"Oh, he's cuddly, he sits on my bed with my other plushies."

"Aw, you have plushes on your bed, too?" Noelle replied, walking closer to the stuffed creatures.

"Yes, b-but they just, s-stay there, I don'thugthemoranything." The former soldier answered back, rushing to finish her sentence and eating her words in the process.

"Hey, Tear I couldn't hear you."

"Never mind." The young women got settled preparing their sleeping bags in the bedroom. A maid entered, whispering near inaudibly to Natalia with a pained expression, catching her friends' interest.

"Everything is set in the kitchen for baking!" She squealed, bouncing up and down excitedly.

"...who will be baking, exactly?" Anise breathed deeply, clutching Tokunaga and squeezing him tightly with fear.

"We will!"

"We as in, me, Tear and Noelle, right?"

"Anise, my cooking isn't THAT bad! Of course all four of us are baking!"

"Tear, how bad is Natalia's cooking?" Noelle chuckled, a bead of sweat rushing down her forehead.

"Made Jade have a headache bad."

"Tear!"

"She asked, and I answered!" Tear responded, her heart leapt at the thought of doing something wrong. Natalia sighed and continued to wear her excited face, despite her friends' air of grievances.

"It should go well, besides, it's a group effort, what can possibly go wrong, now let's go!" The princess hooked her arms with the pilot and melodist and carried them outside. Anise hesitated for a moment, realizing what she had been getting herself into before following the older women.

"Ion, please watch over us."

~

"Alright, who's ready for a round of Dos!" Guy pulled a deck of cards out of his pocket, eager to shuffle them.

"Mieu? Guy what's Dos?" The cheagle in Ginji's arms tilted his head with curiosity.

"Basically, you have to play a card with the same number or colour, there are also cards that skip turns, reverse the turn order, or wild cards that let you choose the colour that you play," the swordsman explained, "when you have two cards left, you say 'Dos!' before anybody notices you have cards left, if you're caught with two cards and haven't said dos, you have to pick up six cards from the stack. Play all of your cards to win!"

"I've played Dos before with Anise, she's really hard to beat, not even her dad can beat her!" Florian piped up, bouncing from his chair.

"My grandfather taught Noelle and I to play when we were kids, Tamara always used to come over for a round or two then," Ginji added. Jade chuckled, and pulled a seat next to Florian.

"Ah, yes, I'm a master at Dos. I'd love to play."

"That means you'll beat us, right Jade?" The young replica chirped.

"Man, if things go south, we may as well just ban Jade from playing after a while." Guy sighed, watching Jade's eyes shine in the background.

"But that would be unfair to Jade!" Mieu protested.

"Yes, Guy, that would be unfair!" Jade teased the swordsman, earning an eye roll from him.

"Whatever, I'm dealing out cards now." Guy shuffled and dealt six cards to each player before placing the stack and the red starting six card on the table. Ginji pulled a green six card out of his hand, while Florian added a green three card. The necromancer smirked, laying a green skip card much to Guy's disappointment.

"Uh oh, Guy, no turn for you."

"Gee, thanks." A green and red card had been dealt by the pilot and replica before Jade laid down a blue three card. The swordsman felt an imaginary bead of sweat trickle down his forehead as his hand moved towards the stack to pick up a new card. He scoffed at the yellow two card, and tried again. With every card that were neither a three or blue, Guy's face contorted in frustration, and the other men began to laugh at his distress.

"Jade, you're banned next round for all of the pain you've caused me." The necromancer laughed at the swordsman's melancholy. As the game continued, Ginji's eyes widened as he played his blue four card. He had been too consumed with excitement to announce that he had two cards left.

"Ah, Ginji, you have two cards left, and you haven't said Dos, now you have eight cards, pick up six." Jade snickered as the pilot's grin disappeared into a frown. Mieu and Florian did their best to hide their giggles at their friend's loss while Guy's face read 'better luck next time!' 

"DOS!!" Florian screamed as he played his third to last card, causing Ginji and Guy to wince from the replica's shriek.

"Geez, not so loud, Florian, you'll wake up Her Grace..." Guy lightly scolded him, playing one card afterward.

"Oh Guy, you have two, pick up six." Jade snickered before the swordsman stared daggers at him as he pulled cards from the deck, allowing the necromancer to calmly call out 'Dos.' Tension increased as Ginji and Guy competed with Florian and Jade for the win. The replica picked up one additional card, played and called 'Dos' once more before the pilot played, and Jade made direct eye contact with the young boy as he played his second to last card. The younger men felt sweat cascade down their faces as Jade held his final card ever so carefully, as if to spite them. Guy played his yellow eight card, with Florian placing his red eight card, clutching his final card closely to his chest. Ginji picked a card from the stack and played a red five card, the young men stared at Jade as he watched them, card still between his fingers and the value away from their sight.

"Okay, Jade, just deal the card or pick up one from the stack." The swordsman scoffed, accepting his defeat.

Jade did not budge.

"Colonel? What are you waiting for?" Florian asked nervously, his heart beating quicker at every passing second.

"C'mon, stop giving us anxiety over a card game!" Guy snapped, only to be met back with laughter from the necromancer as he dealt his red skip card with a grin that covered his entire face.

"I won." Ginji sighed heavily while Florian cried out in defeat, joined by Guy slapping his hands onto his face in disappointment.

"That's it, Jade is banned from Dos for the rest of the night."

"But we were having so much fun!" Jade teased in a singsong manner, gaining another exasperated sigh from the swordsman.

"Mieu! I'll take his place!" Mieu flew over the men's heads and landed next to the eldest man in the room.

"But what if banning me makes you lose to Mieu, Guy?"

"If I lost to a cheagle, I'd never be able to have pride ever again." Ginji and Florian burst into laughter at the thought of Mieu beating Guy in a game of cards, producing another sigh out of the swordsman as he shuffled his cards once more.

~

"Aw, Tear, come on! Stop fidgeting! It only tickles a little!" Anise pouted as she struggled to adorn the melodist's face.

"It itches and I hate the feeling on my face."

"It feels like that at first, but trust me you'll feel prettier!" Noelle chirped while painting Natalia's nails.

"We'll take it off before we sleep, not like anybody important is going to see it." The princess replied, giggling as her friend's face retracted at every attempt Anise made to apply eye shadow.

"Stop, Anise, I don't want any makeup." Tear fidgeted every time the brush hit her face, discomfort increasing at every second longer that this torture persisted.

"Let me move your bang so I can get the other side of your face." Anise swiftly exposed the right side of Tear's face and began to adorn it with makeup while the melodist struggled in an attempt to escape. "Done! Don't you feel pretty?" she shoved the green hand mirror in front of her once finished applying cosmetics. Tear looked at herself and fought hard to hide her frown. The makeup on her face itched and she had actually been able to feel the powder on her skin. If she had been home alone, she would have taken it off at the first second.

"...Yeah, I feel great, thanks."

_"I feel horrible, sweaty, itchy, ugly and I want to rip this off of my face."_

She sighed and brought her hair forward, once again concealing the side of her face. Natalia and Noelle had approached Anise and Tear once done with nail painting, bringing the two to stand in front of the tall mirror at the corner of the princess' room, posing as they (mostly) admired their reflections, complimenting each other.

"Hey, Tear, why did you bring your hair forward again? We won't get to see your other eye!" Natalia reached for the melodist's bang and Tear froze as her hand got closer to her face. The princess had begun to tuck it behind her ear, which felt as if time had slowed down for Tear.

_"Get your hand away from my face and leave my hair alone."_ She mumbled in a passive aggressive tone, catching her friend's attention.

"Is everything okay?"

"...Fine." The princess swept away her hair, scanning her face and making a smirk of approval once she liked what she had seen. Annoyed, Tear immediately brought her hair forward once more when the young women turned their backs, turning once more to find her back to her usual appearance, a frown of disappointment adorning Noelle's face.

"Tear, you could have told me you didn't like it."

"You could have just told Natalia not to tuck your bang behind your ear." Anise added to the princess' displeasure.

_"If I said something she would have gotten upset, but if I didn't then she would have been okay. Think of something."_

"It felt too weird behind my ear, I couldn't take it much longer." Tear lied, her lips quivering slightly and she felt her ears go red.

"It's not THAT bad, some of us just want to see both of your eyes." The puppeteer rolled her eyes.

"May I please take this makeup off, then?"

"Come on, Tear, just a little longer, just until we sleep?" Noelle begged, copying a puppy's eyes to win her over, which made her sigh and nod. For the remainder of the night, the young women had spoken about relationships, their futures and their ideas in helping replicas displaced throughout Auldrant. Tear occasionally picked at her face, rubbing a finger over pink blush and dusting the residue off of her fingers, until Natalia had caught her and kept her eyes on her. In defeat, the melodist stayed quiet and fought against her urge to remove the cosmetics.

"Oh, would you look at the time, it's midnight, we should start winding down for bed." The princess yawned, bringing out washcloths for her friends to clear their faces of makeup. Tear took one cloth and pressed it against her face, rubbing it gently to remove the makeup, but continued once all had been cleared. She did not hear the other young women chatter while they cleaned as her face sank comfortably into the softness of the white piece of cloth. Confused, Noelle tapped her shoulder, startling the melodist and causing her to lift her face out of the washcloth, her blue eyes dilated.

"Is everything okay?" Tear remained silent, unable to respond while Natalia and Anise continued to stare, smiles slowly forming on their faces.

"I don't blame you, the cloths they provided are very soft." The princess giggled, causing Tear's face to turn beet red.

"She doesn't understand how good it felt, having the makeup off and having your face against something so soft."

"Oh, I forgot! Tear, I'm taking you to see Aunty tomorrow afternoon, I should have told you when you came but it slipped out of my head."

_"...Joy."_ She mentally scowled at the thought of being near Luke's mother once more, still unable to stand in the same room as her without anxiety eating away at her. "O-okay, I'll be there." The melodist picked herself up and grabbed her plushes before setting herself on her sleeping bag, confusing her friends further as she clutched them tightly for comfort, "what?"

"Nothing, nothing, just- never mind." Noelle ended.

"Well, good night, ladies, I'm going to find me a handsome young man in my dreams." Anise yawned and curled herself into her sleeping bag.

~

Moonlight flooded Natalia's bedroom and silence overwhelmed it, with faint snores coming from the young women of the room. Tear found herself still awake, one hand hugging her dragon plush, and the other on her pendant, passing her thumb over and twisting it. The soothing movements of her fingers over her pendant hadn't been enough, and the melodist began to tap it near her mouth. Her head felt numb and her eyes heavy, but nothing she could have done would push her down into a deep sleep. Frustrated, she left her sleeping bag and walked towards the window. The night sky reminded her of the night on top of the Albiore with Luke, and the first night she ever saw the stars in the sky instead of poisonous mist and lightning. She continued to stimulate herself with her pendant, listening to the owls talk to each other and the cats fight into the night. Tear hadn't realized that her position remained the same for hours until she saw the sun begin to rise and birds starting to sing. She tip-toed her way back to the sleeping bag and after bundling herself, forced her eyes shut. The former soldier did not feel tired, her eyes felt as light as ever, and her attempt at forcing sleep failed. The early morning sunlight burned onto her sleep deprived eyelids, she cracked them open. Her eyes hurt from how long she had been up, her body began to feel empty once more as she sighed, accepting defeat in her battle against insomnia.

~

Guy looked over his shoulder once more before leaving the room, ensuring that Ginji, Florian and Mieu had all still been asleep. He sighed to himself, quietly opening and closing the door, swiftly making his way to the manor's garden. Upon arrival, he felt a wave of nostalgia hit him. Memories of his occupation as a servant, entertaining both Asch and Luke, being chased by maids, he chuckled as he slowly strode across. The swordsman stopped in front of Luke's room, staring at the door in front of him, the window at the side closed. He remembered climbing through so that no servant would catch him sneaking in to spend time with Luke. Guy shook bodily, reliving some of his happier moments in his head.

"I somewhat expected you to not be sleeping, Guy."

"Jade, could you not sneak up on me for once?" The younger man sighed and flung his head backward in exasperation. The necromancer chuckled and invited the swordsman to the bench outside of Luke's room.

"The Emperor told me that you had a rough time recently while working."

Guy froze. "No, I was fine, what was His Majesty talking about...?" He chuckled nervously, tapping his foot.

"Lying is for naughty, young boys, now why don't you just come clean."

"Fine, I miss Luke. It feels empty without my best friend, and I'm worried for the girls too. There, I said it, happy?" The swordsman snapped and turned away. Jade directed his gaze downwards. "It's not just that Luke just started to live, then had to disappear. Natalia found her fiancé after seven years, but he died, and Tear lost everything she held dear to her. It felt like seeing my family die again, except those two are alive but grieving." The necromancer stayed quiet as his comrade continued to vent his frustrations.

"It isn't fair to any of us to lose Luke, I myself feel lost without him here, but I'm worried for Natalia and specifically, Tear. I can understand Natalia grieving for Asch, and Tear for Luke, but there's definitely something more."

"You've noticed, too."

"Noticed _what_ too?" Guy had become slightly aggressive with Jade, his annoyance growing more and his want to be left alone increasing.

"That Natalia and Tear have been different lately," The swordsman remained quiet as the older man continued, "Natalia is still grieving for Asch and is trying desperately to move on, isn't she." Guy's eyes dilated, realizing the weight of Jade's words.

"She doesn't want anyone to mention him around her, it's as if she's trying to move on by forgetting, in a sense."

"It must be hard for her to come of age and her fiancé isn't even alive anymore. But she does realize she can never completely forget about Asch." The necromancer noted the younger man's silence and continued. "Tear has basically lost everyone dear to her, and it never seemed like she was particularly close to her grandfather, but even to us, who she has travelled with, she's been withdrawing slowly."

"What do you mean by 'withdrawing'?" Guy hissed, knowing that Tear missed Luke as much as he did, perhaps even more.

"She's acting...in a way you and the others wouldn't recognize normally, or you or her would have noticed during our journey, but she's also distancing herself every time she realizes that we can see it, as if she's trying to hide behind a breaking mask." Jade ended, fixing his glasses sitting on the bridge of his nose.

"Have you noticed that she looks smaller than before? Her soldier outfit that she likes to wear looked a bit loose when I saw her with the other ladies earlier, but it could have just been a glimpse."

"I...see. All I can say is to just keep observing them for now."

"How? Natalia is easier because she's a lot more willing to speak and an easy read, but Tear doesn't even like to speak about her own feelings. How can we observe them when we basically understand one but barely the other?" 

"...I do not know how to answer that." Guy snapped and forcefully grabbed Jade's collar, but he grabbed his hand and loosened the grip on his clothes. "Calm down, all I mean is that we have no true approach to helping them. Besides you have your own troubles, right? You and Natalia are able to handle yourselves, more or less, but Tear may not be. We can't act unless we know what's going on. Think rationally. I'll leave you for now." The necromancer finally freed himself from his comrade's grasp and excused himself. With Jade back indoors, Guy slapped the sides of his head with his hands, cradling it. The sun had risen and the light hit his body, covering him with its warmth. Part of him wanted to feel as if Luke, or maybe even Asch's presence was there, but unsure whether to think that, as a certain redhead may have still been alive, he wanted to be certain. He tried to hold back any lingering emotions at the thought of his best friend potentially being alive, afraid of the disappointment of it potentially not being true. Guy's mind drifted to his childhood with Van, and how much he cherished the days of having a big brother figure watch over him. He then thought of the days with Asch and Natalia, and eventually Luke, and how close they had become, despite his revenge plans on Duke Fabre that would have jeopardized his relationship with them. He finally thought of his journey, remembering how much Luke grew and changed, the beginning of conquering his fear and the good times he had with new friends, but also remembered not only the death of Ion, but the scare of losing his best friend, and the pain he felt leaving him behind in Eldrant before it fell. Guy instinctively covered his face, overwhelmed with emotion for letting himself think of his past, but wiped away the moisture on his face, and looked towards the sun hanging over his head in the clear sky.

_"Morning, Luke, watch over Natalia, and especially Tear, please."_


	6. chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guy and Jade are not pleased when Peony spares a certain someone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm so sorry that this chapter took so long to come, I really was not in a good headspace for the end of 2020 or the beginning of 2021 and coping is a bit hard at the moment. There's gonna be a double update in March and none in February, I do have something planned for then either way. Anyway I did have quite a bit of trouble with this chapter, but Animal Crossing music and reading through Abyss content helped motivate me. So hope you enjoy!

Guy yawned as he made his way down the hallways of Grand Chokmah's palace, struggling to stay awake in the early morning. He approached the door that separated him from the rappigs' room, loud snores emitted from behind it. He slowly opened it, and tip-toed into the dimly lit room filled with sleeping rappigs.

"Morning, piggies! Ready to head outside?" The sleepy rappigs perked up upon hearing their caretaker's voice and rushed over to Guy's side as he prepared their harnesses, grunting and squealing excitedly. He laughed as he attached a leash to each of them, and led them to the back of the garden. He leaned against the pillar after letting them loose, the swordsman's eyes struggled to stay awake while waiting for the rappigs to return from relieving themselves.

"Good morning, Guy, His Majesty would like to see you in the Audience Hall after you give the rappigs their breakfast, he said that it's important." Guy had been startled awake and lost his footing at Jade's message, the only thing he had been able to make out was Jade's figure walking away. He sighed and scratched his head, how important could a matter be with Emperor Peony if he were called in at such an early hour?

"Ah, Guy, you're here." Jade raised his hand to greet the tired younger man who had just walked in.

"Gailardia! You made it, the rappigs weren't too much trouble this morning, right?"

"Good morning, Your Majesty, they were fine, Jade just tried to push Saphir into the pond, again. He very much lives up to his name." The swordsman yawned as the emperor laughed and the necromancer fixed his glasses in response.

"Ah, just a normal day, then," Peony replied before taking a deep breath, "well, I have a surprise for the both of you, can't say if you will like it or not. Bring him in, men!" Confused, the two men before their emperor looked behind them to see three officers walk in with a very familiar face.

"What is _he_ doing here?!" Guy instantly woke up as soldiers brought in the scrawny and slim man with a sickly pale skin, and a runny nose.

"Your Majesty, why is Dist not in a cell." Jade tried his hardest from hissing at the emperor, anger slowly filling him at seeing his former childhood friend.

"I've pardoned him, I cannot bear to leave one of my childhood friends in jail, he could also be useful."

_"He's as useful as wet paper."_ The necromancer clenched his fist with rage, his hopes of finally being rid of Dist had vanished right before his eyes. "How could he possibly be useful."

"I've made an arrangement. Saphir must be in custody of the Malkuth military at all times, and all works must be monitored. He will not only be working on the fon machines of Auldrant, but also be aiding in research of how to accommodate the replicas, and research in the ethical use of fomicry, with you."

"...Absolutely not." Jade finally responded with an annoyed tone.

"Jade, please calm-" Guy had been cut off, surprised at the amount of anger and hatred that the older man displayed in front of him.

"Your Majesty, as much as I would like to explore the ethical use of fomicry, I cannot work with a man who not only aided Commandant Grants, but also had a part in both replicating loved ones and the abuse of the replicas at the Tower of Rem."

"I know, I know, and that's why you two will not be working together just as yet, I knew this would be the reaction that I get." Peony sighed and brought his hand to his forehead, "I'll be having him surrender all of his work with Van to Malkuth and they will be studied, I will summon you once it's time for you two to work together. Now, Saphir, do you have any words?"

Throughout Jade's refusal to work with him, Dist had been trying his hardest to hold back tears, not only the rage of hearing his childhood 'friend' berate him once more, but his gratitude to his Emperor for the pardon. "Thank you, Your Majesty, I'm grateful for the second chance, and I will find a way to atone for all of the wrong I have done, especially to the replicas. I hope that Jade and Gailardia can soon find it in themselves to be civil with me, but I am ready to move forward."

"Very well, take him to his room." The emperor signaled to his officers to take the man back to his quarters, Jade audibly sighed and Guy tried his hardest to keep a pleasant face.

_"What was His Majesty even thinking of?"_

"Please try to get along with him, he very much wants to redeem himself, plus we can help prevent what happened months ago from happening again." Peony attempted to reassure the two men standing in front of him, who only retained their frowns at the thought of _Dist_ trying to do better.

"Your Majesty, I hope that you know if he as much goes against his word, I will not hesitate in arresting him and making the appeal to keep him imprisoned." The necromancer ended bluntly, still not amused with the thought of eventually working with the former God General.

"I figured as much, and I understand."

"Then I shall take my leave." Jade bowed before walking out of the Audience Hall, leaving Guy and the emperor behind in a tense atmosphere.

"Gailardia, would you be able to try to get along with him? Jade's bitterness wouldn't help motivate him at all, and he doesn't know you well enough anyway. You don't have to become friends, just be respectful of each other." Peony's voice softened and his hand found its place holding his forehead in exasperation.

"I can't completely promise anything, but for certain I will not lay a finger on him, Your Majesty."

"Thank you, Gailardia."

~

The sun had been at its hottest in the cold and chilly month of Sylph-Decan as Guy prepared lunch for Peony's rappigs. He struggled to carry the large stainless steel bowl of feed through the palace's corridors, anxious about bumping into somebody, particularly a maid. His gynophobia had been getting better, but he still had some moments of his own, the swordsman had slowly become more comfortable with Anise, Natalia and Tear in the past, and was slowly making progress with a few of the friendly maids. He gently kicked the door to their room open, the rappigs perking up and following the scent of their lunch, circling Guy and grunting excitedly.

"Alright, calm down, it's only me feeding you all so be patient." The servant started to fill out bowls of food as quickly as he could, the rappigs tapping his legs and squealing for their food.

"Okay, Jade? Here you go." He placed a bowl in front of Jade the rappig, who waited until his caretaker had moved away to begin to slowly eat.

"Nephry, here's lunch." Nephry the rappig had a burst of energy and ran in circles, snorting and grunting as Guy teased her by bending over and putting her food bowl down slowly.

"Haha, you're too cute. Saphir, let's eat." He set her bowl down before finally scooping feed into Saphir the rappig's food, the rappig snuggling affectionately against his leg.

"Alright, snotty, let's-"

"I have no idea how he could be named after me and is so affectionate, and I don't have snot like him!" Guy's heart leapt, the bowl of food flew out of his hands and onto the floor after he jumped in fear, Saphir racing to his ruined meal and eating off of the floor.

"Dist, aren't you supposed to be in custody?! Also don't scare me!" The servant yelled, his hand placed over his racing heart.

"Yes, Alec is on lunch and he should be back soon, I asked for him to leave me here, I wanted to see these rappigs that His Majesty named after his friends."

"And how long have you been here, exactly?"

"Since you walked in with the rappigs' lunch." Guy rolled his eyes before looking down at Saphir happily eating off of the floor. He sighed and began to quietly organize Luke the rappig's lunch. Everytime he had turned to look at Dist, the swordsman would frown and furrow his eyebrows, an obviously unwelcoming gesture. The older man remained quiet and continued to observe Guy feed Luke. Eventually, the silence between the men became sickening.

"What do you really want from me."

"Gailardia-"

"ANSWER ME!" The rappigs in the room stopped eating their food after the outburst and watched their caretaker expectantly. Dist had not answered him yet, the room had become completely silent, as if not a single soul resided indoors.

_"I wanted to personally apologize for your sister's replica."_

"Do you realize how much pain you've caused, Dist?" Guy broke the silence, "do you know how much so many people have been hurt because of the replicas you created to cause disarray? The amount of replicas, and originals that have been hurt, hell you were okay with letting the people of St. Binah die."

_"He was not wrong."_

"How do you think others felt seeing their deceased loved ones as a replica? How do you think one felt seeing someone they saw die, alive in front of them, as a replica?" The servant had begun to breathe heavily, his emotions beginning to overtake him, "I had to see my sister leave me again 16 years after I watched her die. I had to see her alive once more, I was _paralyzed_ and it messed with me mentally the thought of having to hurt Mary. How do you think it feels to watch a dead family member die again, Dist?!" Guy's fist forcefully hit the table, a loud bang echoing in the room, the frightened rappigs around him remained silent once more. Internally, Dist wanted to say he was sorry until his throat shriveled and dried up, but it seemed that nothing could calm the younger man. If it had not been for Luke the rappig crying and scratching at his caretaker, Guy would have lost control of himself. The rappig shook and leapt on his hind legs, begging to be held.

"Leave. Go to your officer before something we may both regret happens. I do not want to lay a hand on you." The servant growled before picking up the rappig and comforting him. Without any hesitation, Dist walked out, quietly closing the door and making his way to the cafeteria.

"Sorry you had to witness that, Luke and friends. How about we go for a walk after lunch?"

~

After a long day of meetings and discussions of the Malkuth military's next actions, an exhausted Jade found himself walking to the palace's cafeteria. The necromancer headed straight for the coffee grinder and kettle, setting it to boil. Throughout the day, his mind had been flooded with the thought of the last remaining God General being freed from imprisonment, something that still made him angry hours later. What was the worth of releasing him? What possibly could he do that was worthy of being spared? Jade ground the coffee beans in the grinder with great force, using his anger to make the process go faster. He calmed down once done, and poured the coffee dust into his mug, awaiting for the kettle to come to a boil. He looked out of the window, staring at the star illuminated sky, a feeling of peace consuming him while the gentle breeze brushed past his skin.

"Oh, Jade! I didn't think I would see you here!"

The kettle had begun to whistle, as if on cue with Jade's returning rage, the inner peace he felt before had now completely vanished. The necromancer neither answered nor turned towards the other men in the room, now with the kettle in his hand and pouring hot water into the mug. Dist got annoyed when his friend ignored them, despite this being all too normal.

"Jade, I know you can hear me, don't think just because I've been freed that I erased you from my revenge journal!"

"...Do you think about your fallen comrades?" Jade finally responded calmly, the spoon he used to stir his coffee making an obnoxious clinking noise, "do you think about Arietta, Largo, Legretta, Sync.... Asch?" Dist's mouth closed at the mention of the deceased God Generals, unable to come up with a suitable answer.

"Do you remember what you did to Asch, and to Luke? Replicating and opening their fon slots? The pain both went through following those procedures? The effects on them and the others around them?"

"Asch lost everything, but that was caused by the Commandant, I only followed his orders in terms of replication and the opening of fon slots," Dist began, almost instinctively to defend himself, "Asch would definitely survive as Luke was an inferior to him, he would eventually absorb Luke into his body in due time after his death at what should have been Akzeriuth, that had also been part of the plan, had that wretch not defected!"

"...Asch is dead, Saphir."

"...What?"

"Asch died at Eldrant three months ago, Luke saw everything through their fon slots, and he absorbed his power. Luke stayed to release Lorelei."

"I-Impossible! My calculations are not wrong! There is no way a waste like a replica would surpass its original!" Dist's rebuttal finally angered Jade even further, to the point where if he had gotten any angrier, he would have popped a blood vessel.

"Do you not see WHY fomicry was banned?! Either the replica dies and the original absorbs them, or in the rare instance, the original dies and the replica absorbs them. Nothing of Asch will ever remain but the memories of his existence. Luke released Lorelei to stop the plans that you aided Commandant Grants in. Replicas have suffered because of this, because of you. Many people saw their dead relatives alive, hell, some saw their _fallen homeland_ be brought back." The necromancer snapped, hitting the countertop with his fist.

"I have no idea how you can atone for _anything_ you have done. Do you not hear yourself, you are speaking to me as if you have never changed! How would you make it up to the thousands of replicas that have been hurt or killed one way or another? How can you clearly move forward while your head is in the sand about your theories?! You can't possibly atone yourself when you cannot swallow your pride and look at what you've truly done to others!!"

The cafeteria remained silent after Jade's outburst, one could have dropped a pin and heard it echo. The necromancer calmed himself, sighed and dropped the spoon in the sink.

"You ought to write to Nephry that you're alive, I'm sure she's the only other person who would care to know." He fixed his glasses and picked up his hot coffee before shuffling out of the kitchen. Defeated, Dist seated himself at one of the long tables, his officer joining next to him. He set his elbows onto the table and his forehead rested on clasped hands. With Nebilim gone, the New Order of Lorelei disbanded and charged, and all of the other God Generals dead, Dist sighed, unable to properly react. Perhaps it was expected that Jade loathes him, after all, he clearly was obsessed with him for as long as he remembered, and actively was a nuisance to Luke and his friends over the past year, to the point where he can see Guy's annoyance through the mask he put on to keep the peace. He had been right, he sounded as if he never pledged to redeem himself. He should be grateful that his Emperor cared enough to give him a second chance, but how grateful is he for having most of not only Malkuth's military, but the staff in the palace hate him. His nose began to run and his face felt hot, but no tears came out, would it have been better to have died by the hands of the 'Jade gang' back then?

"Alec, I'm...not hungry anymore, can we go back to my room?"

~

_"Mary, why are you here?!" Guy found himself in the selenia garden in Tataroo Valley, where he had previously been with Tear two months prior. He had figured out that this was a dream, but why would he and his sister be here, as far as he knew, she never travelled very far out of Hod._

_"Gailardia, my younger brother, how much you have grown in the past sixteen years." Mary smiled and pulled her brother into an embrace, he had almost forgotten to pull away. He felt, warm, a special comfort that he hadn't felt since his fifth birthday._

_"I'm...sorry I never avenged you, or mother or father, I couldn't bring myself to harm the Duke, especially with Luke and other powers there."_

_"Gailardia, I don't want you to avenge us, living on is enough for our parents and myself, we just want you to be as happy as you can, you've found yourself with a very close knit group of people, and stopped Vandasdelca from harming the world any further." Mary's voice had become sad at the mention of Van._

_"I'm sorry I couldn't find him earlier, or make him see the light, I know you wouldn't have wanted to see him go down the path of destruction." The swordsman finally broke away from his sister to gaze at her in the eye. She simply shook her head and smiled, tears beginning to well in her eyes._

_"I'm so proud of you, my little brother, you would have become a fine count of House Gardios, you have come very far."_

_"Thanks, Mary." The selenia buds behind the young woman swayed within the gentle breeze, accompanied by the sound of flowing water and the now setting sun, providing more comfort to him and his sister._

_"My brother, live on, continue living, live not only for your friends, but for yourself. Vandesdelca would have wanted this too, as much as he would want his sister to live on as well."_

_"I will...I will Mary." Guy embraced her once more, feeling her comforting warmth one last time._

_"Goodbye, Gailardia, my beloved younger brother."_

The morning sun penetrated the windows and curtains and gently covered Guy as he continued to sleep. The tears that fell from his eyes sparkled as they slowly trickled down his cheek. The swordsman protectively held the pillow as if he were hugging his sister, not wanting to let go. He had seemed to be at peace this way, for once in a very long time, if only he had been at peace with himself and the world.

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea how often updates will be, I'm going to try as hard as I can to make it somewhat consistent. But I have my ideas planned out, so that should help me. Thanks if you read this though!


End file.
